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age at which people left full-time education as well as the average salary

age at which people left full-time education as well as the average salary 5kXMe
The bar chart illustrates the age at which people left full-time education as well as the average salary they were making two years after entering the workforce from the ages of under 16 years to over 24 years, and the pie chart illustrates the percentage of the ages at wich people leave full-time education. There is a significant increase in the average salary they were making two years after entering the workforce from the ages of ( 22 to 24 years old) And in the age before 16 years the lowest value in terms of the average salary is appreciated, The pie chart shows that young people who are between 19 and 21 years old, add up to more than half of the total percentage of people who leave full time education. In specific terms, it can be seen that before the age of 16, the lowest salary is obtained, which is between £ 17 and in the age range of 22 to 24 years, a salary of approximately £23 can be achieved. The highest number of young people who leave full education are within the age range of 19 to 21 years, representing the highest percentage reaching (54%) and the age range that occupies the smallest percentage is between the ages of less than 16 years with a percentage of 3%. In conclusion, this indicates that the majority of young people between the ages of 19 to 21 are leaving education and young people who are in the age range of 22 to 24 are earning a greater amount of money in comparison to others.
The bar chart illustrates the
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age
at which
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
full-time education
as well
as the average
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salary
they were making two years after entering the workforce from the
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ages
of under 16 years to over 24 years, and the pie chart illustrates the
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percentage
of the
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ages
at
Possible spelling mistake found.
wich
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
full-time education.

There is a significant increase in the average
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salary
they were making two years after entering the workforce from the
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ages
of
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
22 to 24 years
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old
) And in the
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age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
16 years the lowest value in terms of the average
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salary
is appreciated
, The pie chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
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young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
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who
are between 19 and 21 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
up to more than half of the total
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percentage
of
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
full time education.

In specific terms, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
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age
of 16, the lowest
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salary
is obtained
, which is between
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: "£17".
£ 17
and in the
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
range
of 22 to 24 years, a
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salary
of approximately £23 can
be achieved
.

The highest number of
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young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
full education are within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
range
of 19 to 21 years, representing the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
reaching (54%) and the
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
range
that occupies the smallest
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percentage
is between the
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ages
of less than 16 years with a
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percentage
of 3%.

In conclusion
, this indicates that the majority of
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young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
of 19 to 21 are leaving education and
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young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
range
of 22 to 24 are earning a greater amount of money
in comparison
to others.
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IELTS academic age at which people left full-time education as well as the average salary

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
266 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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