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a survey among men and women of what kind of music they listen to.

a survey among men and women of what kind of music they listen to. BMDNa
The table shows the number of music lovers by the type of their listening among men and women. And below this diagram summarizes their result. However, men distinguish a preference for live music than women with a high interest. Although men prefer live music, their interest in the mp3 player also prevails among women. Among men and women, the number of listeners of music on the Internet and CDs is almost at the same level, this is due to their less availability. As a result, 70 percent of the total number of users among the types of listening to music, live music plays a leading role. At this time, recorded music is less popular among participants and is gaining 27 percent. Based on this, although live music has passed such a huge historical path to the present day, it has not lost its popularity.
The table
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the number of
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music
lovers by the type of their listening among
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men
and women. And below this diagram summarizes their result.

However
,
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men
distinguish a preference for
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live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
than women with a high interest.

Although
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men
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, their interest in the mp3 player
also
prevails among women.

Among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and women, the number of listeners of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
on the Internet and CDs is almost at the same level, this is due to their less availability.

As a result
, 70 percent of the total number of users among the types of listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
plays a leading role.

At this time, recorded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is less popular among participants and is gaining 27 percent. Based on this, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has passed such a huge historical path to the present day, it has not lost its popularity.
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IELTS academic a survey among men and women of what kind of music they listen to.

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
144 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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