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A strange experience in my childhood

A strange experience in my childhood q0yN5
November, 2015, was a strange day for me. It was maybe 12: 00 at midnight at my house. I and my sister slept in the room on the second floor that day my grandpa was past away. Then my family: my mom, my dad, and my grandma came in our room and asked we about a loud noise like something that heavy fell on the floor. We told that we didn't heard anything in our room when we slept, Next, my family member went out of our room and back to sleep. I and my sister look around our room to find something that fell down but, don't have something. Finally, we fell asleep and didn't put it in my mind.
When specifying a month and year, the comma is unnecessary: "November 2015".
November, 2015
, was a strange day for me. It was maybe 12: 00 at midnight at my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. I and my sister slept in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
on the second floor that day my grandpa was past away. Then my family: my mom, my dad, and my grandma came in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
and asked we about a loud noise like something that heavy fell on the floor. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
that we didn't
The verb 'didn't' requires base form of this verb: "hear"
heard
anything in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
when we slept,
Next
, my family member went out of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
and back to sleep. I and my sister look around our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
to find something that fell down
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, don't have something.
Finally
, we fell asleep and didn't put it in my mind.
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IELTS academic A strange experience in my childhood

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
121 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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