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agricultural land and their causzes foe less production

agricultural land and their causzes foe less production gWVad
The pie chart outlines the key factors as to why land used for agriculture produces less over time, while the table gives a breakdown of the effect these causes had on agricultural land in three regions during the 1990s. Overall, over-grazing, deforestation, and over-cultivation are all significant causes of land degradation globally, but the causes of less productive land in specific regions varies. The pie chart shows that over-grazing by livestock is the most significant factor in land becoming degraded with 35% of land being affected in this way. However, this is closely followed by deforestation (30%) and over-cultivation (28%), with the remaining 7% being made up of other causes With respect to the table, it is clear that in the 1990s the North American region had the lowest amount of degraded land at just 5%. Of this land, about two-thirds was damaged by over-cultivation, just under a third by over-grazing, and a minimal amount by deforestation. In contrast, at the same time almost a quarter (23%) of arable land in Europe was degraded. Unlike the American region, the main factor in Europe was deforestation, with 9. 8% of total land affected in this way. Moreover, over-cultivation (7. 7%) and over-grazing (5. 5%) were also majorly responsible for the deterioration of land quality. In the final region, Oceania, the main cause of land degradation was clearly over-grazing with 11. 3% of land being affected by this out of a total of 13% of land degraded in total. Conversely, over-cultivation appeared to play no role in this part of the world, while deforestation affected only a relatively small amount (1. 7%).
The pie chart outlines the key factors as to why
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land
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used
for agriculture produces less
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over time
, while the table gives a breakdown of the effect these
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causes
had on agricultural
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land
in three
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regions
during the 1990s.

Overall
, over-grazing,
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deforestation
, and over-cultivation are all significant
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causes
of
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land
degradation globally,
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but
the
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causes
of less productive
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land
in specific
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regions
varies.

The pie chart
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shows
that over-grazing by livestock is the most significant factor in
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land
becoming degraded with 35% of
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land
being
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affected
in this way.
However
, this is
closely
followed by
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deforestation
(30%) and over-cultivation (28%), with the remaining 7%
being made
up of other causes

With respect to the table, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that in the 1990s the North American
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region
had the lowest amount of degraded
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land
at
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just
5%. Of this
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land
, about two-thirds
was damaged
by over-cultivation,
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just
under a third by over-grazing, and a minimal amount by
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deforestation
.
In contrast
, at the same time almost a quarter (23%) of arable
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land
in Europe
was degraded
. Unlike the American
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region
, the main factor in Europe was
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deforestation
, with 9. 8% of total
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land
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affected
in this way.
Moreover
, over-cultivation (7. 7%) and over-grazing (5. 5%) were
also
majorly
responsible for the deterioration of
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land
quality. In the final
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region
, Oceania, the main
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cause
of
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land
degradation was
clearly
over-grazing with 11. 3% of
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land
being
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affected
by this out of a total of 13% of
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land
degraded in total.
Conversely
, over-cultivation appeared to play no role in this part of the world, while
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deforestation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affected
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
relatively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount (1. 7%).
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IELTS academic agricultural land and their causzes foe less production

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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