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A school expenditure on various aspects in the three years

A school expenditure on various aspects in the three years 1b5WM
The three pie charts show changes in the expenditure of a school on various aspects in three particular years. It is clear that, teachers' salaries was the aspect which required the highest amount, though the least money was allocated to insurance. On the other hand, expenses in other workers' payments went down considerably, while there were variations in the percentage of other categories Although the proportion of total spending on teachers' salaries went up to 50 percent in 1991 from 40 percent in 1981, then the figure fell to 45% at the end of the period. On the other hand, the same index for other workers' pays declined significantly with figure falling from 25% in 1981 to 15% in 2001. Although there were some changes in the costs of the other aspects, the proportion of insurance, which equaled to only 2% in the beginning, grew four times still staying the lowest in 2001.
The three pie charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the expenditure of a school on various aspects in three particular years.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that, teachers' salaries was the aspect which required the highest amount, though the least money
was allocated
to insurance. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, expenses in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
workers' payments went down
considerably
, while there were variations in the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
categories


Although the proportion of total spending on teachers' salaries went up to 50 percent in 1991 from 40 percent in 1981, then the figure fell to 45% at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the same index for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
workers' pays declined
significantly
with figure falling from 25% in 1981 to 15% in 2001.

Although there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the costs of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspects, the proportion of insurance, which equaled to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2% in the beginning, grew four times
still
staying the lowest in 2001.

IELTS academic A school expenditure on various aspects in the three years

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
153 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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