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A lot of people think it’s a good choice to accept a bad situation such as a problem of money or unsatisfactory jo

A lot of people think it’s a good choice to accept a bad situation such as a problem of money or unsatisfactory jo 8G5mP
A lot of people think it’s a good choice to accept a bad situation such as a problem of money or unsatisfactory job. Whereas, others believe that it’s better to improve their condition and to find the problem of their situation. Firstly, my point of view is to try and improve such situation. To be in the category of the people who allow a bad situation to accumulate and deteriorate is gradually fall. Because if you don’t try to arrange the situation you don’t to be good in your life. The depression or burn out can be an example of the subject generally it is an accumulation of bad things. People who have depression have often had problems in their personal lives and have either had no success or failed to try to resolve them. That is why I understand the people who prefer to let their problems accumulate because they simply don't know what to do. However, we are always a solution even if it seems impossible to you to improve. I'm talking about depression but this kind of situation can lead to suicide so I advise everyone to never give up and always try everything to get better. in conclusion, my opinion is never to give up because life is already very short and it is full of surprises that can make you happy or simply improve your situation. So never give up and try, try to success just for you or for you family circle, friends, relations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it’s a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
choice to accept a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
such as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of money or unsatisfactory job. Whereas, others believe that it’s better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
their condition and to find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of their situation.

Firstly
, my point of view is to
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
. To be in the category of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
to accumulate and deteriorate is
gradually
fall.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
if you don’t try to arrange the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
you don’t to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in your life. The depression or burn out can be an example of the subject
generally
it is an accumulation of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who have depression have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in their personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and have either had no success or failed to try to resolve them.

That is
why I understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
accumulate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
simply
don't know what to do.
However
, we are always a solution even if it seems impossible to you to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
. I'm talking about depression
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
can lead to suicide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I advise everyone to never give up and always try everything to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
conclusion, my opinion is never to give up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
life is already
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
short and it is full of surprises that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you happy or
simply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
never give up and try, try to success
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for you or for
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'you'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
you family
circle, friends, relations.
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IELTS academic A lot of people think it’s a good choice to accept a bad situation such as a problem of money or unsatisfactory jo

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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