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A glance at the graph provided reveals some data concerning the overall proportion of minutes of phone calls in a particular country over the span 7 years(from 1995 to 2002) and these are divided into 3 groups.

A glance at the graph provided reveals some data concerning the overall proportion of minutes of phone calls in a particular country over the span 7 years(from 1995 to 2002) and these are divided into 3 groups. y6Kr
A glance at the graph provided reveals some data concerning the overall proportion of minutes of phone calls in a particular country over the span 7 years(from 1995 to 2002) and these are divided into 3 groups. Overall, it is obvious from the chart, fixed line and mobile calls saw a remarkable increase but local-fixed line vice versa. As can be seen from the chart, local-fixed line started to increase from 70 b minutes to 90 b minutes till 1998s, and after standing a steady for a year, it decreased till 70 b minutes again. Next, national and international-fixed line saw a significant increase till the end of the period step by step from 35 to 60 billion minutes. However, the last line namely mobiles was in the lowest grade with 5 b minutes in 1995, and it grew up marginally till the 1999s to 10 b minutes. After that, it saw a prominent increase from 10 to 40 b minutes till the end of a year. Overall, it is obvious from the chart, fixed line and mobile calls saw a remarkable increase but local-fixed line vice versa. As can be seen from the chart, local-fixed line started to increase from 70 b minutes to 90 b minutes till 1998s, and after standing a steady for a year, it decreased till 70 b minutes again. Next, national and international-fixed line saw a significant increase till the end of the period step by step from 35 to 60 billion minutes. However, the last line namely mobiles was in the lowest grade with 5 b minutes in 1995, and it grew up marginally till the 1999s to 10 b minutes. After that, it saw a prominent increase from 10 to 40 b minutes till the end of a year.
A glance at the graph provided reveals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
data concerning the
overall
proportion of minutes of phone calls in a particular country over the span 7 years(from 1995 to 2002) and these
are divided
into 3 groups.

Overall
, it is obvious from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
and mobile calls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saw
a remarkable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
local-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
vice versa.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
, local-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
from 70 b minutes to 90 b minutes till 1998s, and after standing a steady for a year, it decreased till 70 b minutes again.
Next
, national and international-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saw
a significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
till the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
end
of the period
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
from 35 to 60 billion minutes.

However
, the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
namely
mobiles was in the lowest grade with 5 b minutes in 1995, and it grew up
marginally
till the 1999s to 10 b minutes. After that, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saw
a prominent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
from 10 to 40 b minutes till the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
end
of a year.

Overall
, it is obvious from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
and mobile calls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saw
a remarkable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
local-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
vice versa.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
, local-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
from 70 b minutes to 90 b minutes till 1998s, and after standing a steady for a year, it decreased till 70 b minutes again.
Next
, national and international-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saw
a significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
till the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
end
of the period
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
from 35 to 60 billion minutes.

However
, the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
namely
mobiles was in the lowest grade with 5 b minutes in 1995, and it grew up
marginally
till the 1999s to 10 b minutes. After that, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saw
a prominent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
from 10 to 40 b minutes till the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
end
of a year.
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IELTS academic A glance at the graph provided reveals some data concerning the overall proportion of minutes of phone calls in a particular country over the span 7 years(from 1995 to 2002) and these are divided into 3 groups.

Academic
  American English
7 paragraphs
297 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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