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A comparison of household expenditure in 2019 and 2020

A comparison of household expenditure in 2019 and 2020 9rr20
The two pie charts illustrate how several domestic requirements consumed expenses for a house percentagewise for the years 2019 and 2020. Overall, at the beginning of the year, education and food required significant expenses whereas healthcare, together with other products and services, demanded a slight portion of the total expense. However, this changed in the next year, when the proportional magnitude of education dropped drastically, and overcome by increased demands of healthcare and other products and services. Only slight variations in housing was observed. In 2020, the domains of education suffered a steep decline, reducing more than six times its percentage the previous year (from 13% in 2019 to 2%). The food demand also dropped significantly from 55% to 41%, loosing roughly 10% of its percent accumulation in comparison to 2019. The variations observed in housing were only marginal as the percenatge dropped from 20% in 2019 to 19% in 2020. Remarkably, the expense rates for healthcare and other products and services increased in tremondous proportion. The surge in healthcare rose four times in measure, from 5% to 20%. Other products and services were also granted a more than double aggregate, increasing from 7% to 18%.
The two pie charts illustrate how several domestic requirements consumed expenses for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
Possible spelling mistake found.
percentagewise
for the years 2019 and 2020.

Overall
, at the beginning of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, education and food required significant expenses whereas healthcare, together with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
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services
, demanded a slight portion of the total
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expense
.
However
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in the
next
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year
, when the proportional magnitude of education dropped
drastically
, and overcome by increased demands of healthcare and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
slight variations in housing
was observed
.

In 2020, the domains of education suffered a steep decline, reducing more than six times its percentage the previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
(from 13% in 2019 to 2%). The food demand
also
dropped
significantly
from 55% to 41%, loosing roughly 10% of its percent accumulation
in comparison
to 2019. The variations observed in housing were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
marginal as the
Possible spelling mistake found.
percenatge
dropped from 20% in 2019 to 19% in 2020.

Remarkably
, the
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expense
rates for healthcare and
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
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services
increased in
Possible spelling mistake found.
tremondous
proportion. The surge in healthcare rose four times in measure, from 5% to 20%.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
were
also
granted a more than double aggregate, increasing from 7% to 18%.

IELTS academic A comparison of household expenditure in 2019 and 2020

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
196 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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