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The Value of the Stone, what is the value in life?

The Value of the Stone, what is the value in life? KVyB9
One of the students asked his teacher: - Sir, what is the value in life? And the teacher took a stone and handed it to him, and said, - Take this stone to the market but you don't sell it, just notice how much people pay. In obedience to his teacher, he took the stone to the market to sell. People don't understand why you sold such an ugly rock. Sitting the whole day, a street vendor who took pity on him, came and paid a dollar for it. The student brought the stone back, and lamented: - This ugly rock, nobody even wants to buy it. Good thing somebody offer to buy it for a dollar, sir. The teacher smiled and said: - Well done, tomorrow you bring the stone into the gold store and sell it to the storekeeper, remember that even if the owner buys it, it will not be sold. Much to his surprise, the owner paid the price of 500 dollars for the stone. He was eager to ask the teacher why this is. And the teacher laughed and said, - Do bring it into the antique store tomorrow. But you do absolutely not sell it, merely asking for a price. Following his teacher’s instructions, after a while of reviewing, he was surprised that the shopkeeper paid the price for the stone which is the existing property. He still was bent on not sell and hastened back to relate all story to his teacher. Then the teacher slowly said: - The stone is actually a precious ancient jewel, it is got to be worth a fortune, and the value of life is a lot like that stone, some people understand and some don’t. For those who don't understand and can not feel, the value of life is not worth a penny, and for those who understand, it is worth a fortune.
One of the students asked his teacher:

Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
Sir, what is the value in life?

And the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
took a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stone
and handed it to him, and said,

Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
Take this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stone
to the market
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sell
it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
notice how much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
pay.

In obedience to his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
, he took the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stone
to the market to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sell
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
why you sold such an ugly rock. Sitting the whole day, a street vendor who took pity on him, came and paid a dollar for it. The student brought the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stone
back, and lamented:

Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
This ugly rock, nobody even wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
thing somebody
The pronoun 'somebody' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "offers", "offered".
offer
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it for a dollar, sir.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
smiled and said:

Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
Well
done, tomorrow you bring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stone
into the gold store and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sell
it to the storekeeper, remember that even if the owner
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buys
it, it will not
be sold
.

Much to his surprise, the owner paid the price of 500 dollars for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stone
. He was eager to ask the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
why this is. And the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
laughed and said,

Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
Do bring it into the antique store tomorrow.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
you do
absolutely
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sell
it,
merely
asking for a price.

Following his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher’s
instructions, after a while of reviewing, he
was surprised
that the shopkeeper paid the price for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stone
which is the existing property. He
still
was bent
on not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sell
and hastened back to relate all story to his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
. Then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
slowly
said:

Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stone
is
actually
a precious ancient jewel, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
to be worth a fortune, and the value of life is a lot like that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stone
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
don’t. For those who don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
and can not feel, the value of life is not worth a penny, and for those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
, it is worth a fortune.
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IELTS speaking The Value of the Stone, what is the value in life?

Speaking
  American English
12 paragraphs
316 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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