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Describe your upbringing experience

Describe your upbringing experience Gr9mj
I was an only child for 15 years. Almost everything in the family revolved around me until I was fifteen, when my mother told me she was pregnant and THAT I was going to have a baby brother or sister. I was so shocked that I couldn't accept the idea of having a small addition to my family to share my home and the love of my parents with him that I began to rebel. It was summer vacation, and I ran away from home one day. I was a wanderer with nowhere to go, so I had to go home. When my mother found out, she was so scared that she took a week off to look after me at home. I tried fasting, but after a day I was so hungry I gave up. I tried a series of ways to resist, but my brother showed up the next spring. At that time, I was facing the high school entrance examination. The baby's crying made me sleep badly, so I didn't want to go to school or take the exam. I played truant for a week, and I didn't go back to school until the head teacher called my mother to talk to me. When I was a freshman in high school, my brother's white diapers filled the bedroom and balcony, his milk powder and bottles filled the snack rack, a large space in the closet for his small clothes and shoes, and a colorful cushion for him to crawl in the living room. . . Even the space where MY piano used to be was filled with my brother's toys. I watched with heartache as my Lego robot was trampled underfoot by his giant Transformers, and my toy dog was shoved into his train car and driven off into the distance. Even the air was thick with the smell of his powder! With the outbreak of the virus, the burden of taking care of his younger brother fell to his 70-year-old grandfather as his parents became busier at work. When I saw grandpa bending over to change his brother's diaper and singing to him over and over again, I suddenly realized that something had changed. My grandfather is an energetic young man in my memory. Fifteen years ago, he and his grandmother taught me how to walk, how to talk and how to play the harmonica for me. Later, my grandmother got cancer, and my grandfather took care of her and became much older. Now the grandfather who takes care of my brother is even older. I felt like I had to do something for him. During the epidemic, I began to help my grandfather take care of my brother in my spare time after taking online classes at home. I learned how to make him milk, change his diaper, and hum him to sleep. I babbled with him, played music for him, read to him, and taught him to play the piano by holding him in my lap. This summer I really realized THAT I had a little brother, and I named him McDull, after a pig in a Hong Kong animated film. "McDull" is not clever, but he is sincere and righteous, which is what I want for my brother. Before McDull was born, I used to fantasize about unruly kids fighting over snacks and toys with their sisters, and about naughty kids wreaking havoc. However, McDull's growth made me feel the innocence and love of children. He will not be willing to eat the delicious snacks and sister to share; After he left, he would sneak out of bed every morning, sneak into his sister's room, and sleep in her bed. When playing in the yard, I would call my sister out of the window to play with me I gradually found many beautiful things in life, many people and things I would have ignored. McDull's friends are children of all ages. They are friendly and interesting. They would look at McDull's big sister and then chase me with many questions. The children will jump in the puddle in the rainy day, will sit in the evening to dig sand and wait for mom and dad to get off work, will be in the garden with a bucket and mother with the newly planted roses. . . These things I never pay attention to before, now it seems so interesting. I began to change. I was no longer that whiny, willful little girl. I hope to become an excellent person, become McDull's SUPERHERO, and influence people around me with happiness. So I started with small things and changed in a more positive direction. I began to study hard, focused all my energy on study, prepared carefully before class, looked for the teacher to discuss problems after class, do experiments, so that their comprehensive results have always maintained in the first few grades. Because my spoken English was not good enough, I was once very afraid of speaking in class, SO I began to practice devil. Whenever I had time, I would recite the original text, listen to the radio, watch American TV series, listen to and say repeatedly. Gradually, I began to enjoy communicating with people in English, and began to participate in English speeches and debates in school. I organized THE NSDA American debate activities at school and got good grades. I read every day, from Ivanov's The History of the Telescope, Einstein's theory of relativity, Yuval Harari's A Brief History of Man, George Orwell's 1984, and Milan Kundera's The Unbearable Lightness of Being. Reading makes me look at the world more rationally and learn from the experience of human history. I worked out every day, joined the rowing house and the girls' football club at school, and became vice-captain of the football team. At home, running, doing exercises, swimming and other aerobic and anaerobic combined training, playing tennis on the weekend, lost more than 20 pounds. In my spare time, I began to focus on the community outside my family and participate in some community activities. I organized middle school students as volunteers to make dumplings at the old people's apartment every week and let them taste the dumplings with the new fillings I made. If I found a lot of old people will not use WeChat, pay treasure to make their lives inconvenience, the team, so called classmates in Beijing city "elderly people use smart phones with is how to enhance happiness life", and making the teaching video phone app to solve the problems of the old people use smart phones, He also went to community retirement stations and nursing homes to teach them how to use smartphones. Sometimes I also think about the "family planning" policy and whether it is a policy mistake that a family can only have one child. It made me lose more than ten years of emotional communication with my brothers and sisters and forget how to love others. The arrival of my brother changed all that. I am very grateful to my parents, my grandpa and my brother. Because of you, I have a warm home.
I was an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
child for 15 years. Almost everything in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
revolved around me until I was fifteen, when my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me she was pregnant and THAT I was going to have a baby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brother
or sister.

I was
so
shocked that I couldn't accept the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of having a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
addition to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to share my home and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
of my parents with him that I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
began
to rebel. It was summer vacation, and I ran away from home one day. I was a wanderer with nowhere to go,
so
I had to go home. When my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
found out, she was
so
scared that she took a week off to look after me at home. I tried fasting,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after a day I was
so
hungry I gave up. I tried a series of ways to resist,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
up the
next
spring. At that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, I was facing the high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
entrance examination. The baby's crying made me sleep
badly
,
so
I didn't want to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or take the exam. I played truant for a week, and I didn't go back to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
until the head teacher called my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
to talk to me.

When I was a freshman in high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, my brother's white diapers filled the bedroom and balcony, his milk powder and bottles filled the snack rack, a large space in the closet for his
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
clothes and shoes, and a colorful cushion for him to crawl in the living room.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Even the space where MY piano
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be
Consider using a past participle here: "been".
was
filled with my brother's toys. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
with heartache as my Lego robot
was trampled
underfoot by his giant Transformers, and my toy dog
was shoved
into his train car and driven off into the distance. Even the air was thick with the smell of his powder!

With the outbreak of the virus, the burden of taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of his younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brother
fell to his 70-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandfather
as his parents became busier at work. When I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
grandpa bending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
his brother's diaper and singing to him
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
again, I
suddenly
realized that something had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandfather
is an energetic young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
in my memory. Fifteen years ago, he and his grandmother taught me how to walk, how to talk and how to play the harmonica for me. Later, my grandmother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
cancer, and my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandfather
took
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of her and became much older.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandfather
who takes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brother
is even older. I felt like I had to do something for him. During the epidemic, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
began
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandfather
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brother
in my spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
after taking online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
at home. I learned how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
him milk,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
his diaper, and hum him to sleep. I babbled with him, played music for him, read to him, and taught him to play the piano by holding him in my lap.

This summer I
really
realized THAT I had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brother
, and I named him
Possible spelling mistake found.
McDull
, after a pig in a Hong Kong animated film.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Possible spelling mistake found.
McDull
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
is not clever,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he is sincere and righteous, which is what I want for my brother.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
Possible spelling mistake found.
McDull
was born
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to fantasize about
unruly
kids fighting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
snacks and toys with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sisters
, and about naughty kids wreaking havoc.
However
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
McDull
's growth made me feel the innocence and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
of children. He will not be willing to eat the delicious snacks and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sister
to share; After he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
, he would sneak out of bed every morning, sneak into his sister's room, and sleep in her bed. When playing in the yard, I would call my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sister
out of the window to play with
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
me


I
gradually
found
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
things in life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and things I would have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
McDull
's friends are children of all ages. They are friendly and interesting. They would look at
Possible spelling mistake found.
McDull
's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sister
and then chase me with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
questions. The children will jump in the puddle in the rainy day, will sit in the evening to dig sand and wait for mom and dad to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
off work, will be in the garden with a bucket and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
with the
newly
planted roses.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
These things I never pay attention to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it seems
so
interesting. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
began
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. I was no longer that whiny, willful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
girl.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
hope to become an excellent person, become
Possible spelling mistake found.
McDull
's SUPERHERO, and influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around me with happiness.

So
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
things and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in a more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
direction. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
began
to study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
, focused all my energy on study, prepared
carefully
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, looked for the teacher to discuss problems after
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, do experiments,
so
that their comprehensive results have always maintained in the
first
few grades.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
my spoken English was not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, I was once
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
afraid of speaking in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
,
SO
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
began
to practice devil. Whenever I had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, I would recite the original text, listen to the radio,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
American TV series, listen to and say
repeatedly
.
Gradually
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
began
to enjoy communicating with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in English, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
began
to participate in English speeches and debates in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. I organized THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
NSDA
American debate activities at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grades.

I read every day, from Ivanov's The History of the Telescope, Einstein's theory of relativity,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Yuval
Possible spelling mistake found.
Harari
's A Brief History of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Man
, George Orwell's 1984, and Milan
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kundera
's The Unbearable Lightness of Being. Reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
me look at the world more
rationally
and learn from the experience of human history.

I worked out every day,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
the rowing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and the girls' football club at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, and became vice-captain of the football team. At home, running, doing exercises, swimming and other aerobic and anaerobic combined training, playing tennis on the weekend, lost more than
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
20 pounds
.

In my spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
began
to focus on the community outside my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and participate in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
community activities. I organized middle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
students as volunteers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
dumplings at the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's apartment every week and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them taste the dumplings with the new fillings I made. If I found
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
WeChat, pay treasure to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
inconvenience, the team,
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
so called
classmates in Beijing city
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
smart phones with is how to enhance happiness life
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, and making the teaching video phone app to solve the problems of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
smart phones, He
also
went to community retirement stations and nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
to teach them how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
smartphones.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
family planning
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
policy and whether it is a policy mistake that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have one child. It made me lose more than ten years of emotional communication with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brothers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sisters
and forget how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
others. The arrival of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
all that. I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
grateful to my parents, my grandpa and my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brother
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of you, I have a warm home.
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IELTS speaking Describe your upbringing experience

Speaking
  American English
12 paragraphs
1191 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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