Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Describe your dream job when you were young. v.1

Describe your dream job when you were young. v. 1
Describe your dream job when you were young. You should say: what kind of job it is where you did learn about it what kind of training/ skills are needed for that job and explain why it was your dream job when you were young.   Model Answer 1: I think that for those, who like physics, gravity is a very interesting subject. It becomes even more interesting when without gravity, a person (an astronaut that is) can grow up to three per cent taller if he/she spends at least 6 months on the international space station. Now, please tell me how many cooler jobs are there in the world which can help you grow three per cent taller in six months? ! Well, the answer is “none”. I guess, it should be clear by now that becoming an astronaut was my dream job, especially after watching “the star trek” TV series, when I was young, except of course I had no clue at that time that it could actually help me grow three per cent because the absence of gravity helps expand our spine if I had somehow managed to spend at least 6 months in the space station. Anyway, there are many other cool things about being an Astronaut. But, first, let me tell you who exactly an astronaut is. Well, Astronauts gather information about the space in general by conducting experiments with the spacecraft itself to develop new concepts in design, engineering, and the navigation of a vehicle outside the Earth's atmosphere. However, it is not easy to become an astronaut because one has to have at least a Bachelor degree in science and at least 1, 000 hours pilot-in-command time in jet aircraft. He/she would also need to meet a minimum physical requirement as far as his height, visual acuity and blood pressure are concerned, specified by NASA. Anyway, being an astronaut was my dream job as a young because I was always fascinated by the vast empty space around us and how it affected our life on this earth. Besides, the idea of becoming an astronaut always gave me a feeling of tremendous adventure as far as the possibility of going to new worlds and walking on land there where nobody has been before. Besides, how cool would that be if having a job would allow someone to become an explorer, scientist, engineer, and pilot, all in one, at the same time!   Sample Answer 2: When I was young, I wanted to work for a major aviation company as a pilot. In fact, becoming a pilot, who flies commercial aeroplanes, was my dream in my childhood. I have heard about this job from my teachers and relatives in my childhood and then I had a superficial idea about this job. When I was 15 or 16 years old, I saw a documentary on the tasks the pilots do on the Discovery channel that gave me a clear idea of the jobs of a commercial aeroplane pilot. Working as a pilot requires comprehensive training and to become a good pilot one needs very good quality and skillsets. Usually, the commercial airline companies hire the candidates and then give them comprehensive training, both theoretical and practical, and after particular hours of flawless flying records, the candidates are sent to work for their jobs. The theoretical parts teach them the different aspects of flying, route, safety and process guidelines where the practical parts allow them to actually fly a real aeroplane. They need to prove that they have gained sufficient skills to fly a commercial plane before they are appointed to do the job. I was a fascination with flying the aeroplane in the sky. It was a thrilling job for me when I was young. Since different people of the family members started giving me the idea of good careers and what I would become in the future, I started speculating my own idea and I found the job of a pilot very exciting and prestigious. I knew that being a pilot would allow me to visit different countries across our boundaries and would allow me to meet different people and these 2 ideas also attracted me toward this job. For all those reasons it was my dream job when I was young. Similar Cue Card Topics Your ability to talk about this Cue Card Topic would also enable you to talk about the following Cue Card Topics: Describe a challenging job or career you know about. Describe a job that helps others. Describe a job you want to do in the future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Describe
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
when you were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
. You should say: what kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
it
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
is


where you did learn about it

what kind of training/
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are needed
for that job

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why it was your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
when you were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Model Answer 1:

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that for those, who like physics, gravity is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
interesting subject. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
even more interesting when without gravity, a person (an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
astronaut
that is
) can grow up to three per cent taller if he/she spends at least 6 months on the international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
station.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
me how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cooler
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are there in the world which can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
you grow three per cent taller in six months? !
Well
, the answer is “none”.

I guess
, it should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
that becoming an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
astronaut
was my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
especially
after watching “the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
star trek
” TV series, when I was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
, except
of course
I had no clue at that time that it could
actually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
me grow three per cent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the absence of gravity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
expand our spine if I had somehow managed to spend at least 6 months in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
station.

Anyway
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other cool things about being an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Astronaut
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
first
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you who exactly an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
astronaut
is.
Well
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Astronauts
gather information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
in general
by conducting experiments with the spacecraft itself to develop new concepts in design, engineering, and the navigation of a vehicle outside the Earth's atmosphere.
However
, it is not easy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
astronaut
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
have at least a Bachelor degree in science and at least 1, 000 hours pilot-in-command time in jet aircraft. He/she would
also
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
a minimum physical requirement as far as his height, visual acuity and blood pressure
are concerned
, specified by NASA.

Anyway
, being an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
astronaut
was my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I was always fascinated by the vast empty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
around us and how it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
our life on this earth.
Besides
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
of becoming an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
astronaut
always gave me a feeling of tremendous adventure as far as the possibility of going to new worlds and walking on land there
Did you mean "were", the simple past of "to be"?
where
nobody has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Two successive sentences begin with the same adverb. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
Besides
, how cool would that be if having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allow
someone to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
an explorer, scientist, engineer, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pilot
, all in one, at the same time!
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Sample Answer 2:

When I was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
, I wanted to work for a major aviation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pilot
. In fact, becoming a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pilot
, who flies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplanes' is British English.
aeroplanes
, was my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
in my childhood. I have heard about this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
from my teachers and relatives in my childhood and then I had a superficial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
about this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. When I was 15 or 16 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a documentary on the tasks the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pilots
do on the Discovery channel that gave me a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplane' is British English.
aeroplane
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pilot
. Working as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pilot
requires comprehensive training and to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pilot
one needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality and
Possible spelling mistake found.
skillsets
.
Usually
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
airline
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
hire the candidates and then give them comprehensive training, both theoretical and practical, and after particular hours of flawless flying records, the candidates are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to work for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. The theoretical parts teach them the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
aspects of flying, route, safety and process guidelines where the practical parts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allow
them to
actually
fly
a real
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplane' is British English.
aeroplane
. They need to prove that they have gained sufficient
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to
fly
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
are appointed
to do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. I was a fascination with flying the
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplane' is British English.
aeroplane
in the sky. It was a thrilling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for me when I was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of the family members
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
giving me the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
careers and what I would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
in the future, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
speculating my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
and I found the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pilot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
exciting and prestigious. I knew that being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pilot
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allow
me to visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
countries across our boundaries and would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allow
me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and these 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
also
attracted me toward this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. For all those reasons it was my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
when I was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
. Similar Cue Card Topics Your ability to talk about this Cue Card Topic would
also
enable you to talk about the following Cue Card Topics:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Describe
a challenging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or career
you know
about.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Describe
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
others.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Describe
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
you want to do in the future.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
84Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS speaking Describe your dream job when you were young. v. 1

Speaking
  American English
9 paragraphs
767 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts