Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Describe an occasion when someone visited your home. v.1

Describe an occasion when someone visited your home. v. 1
Describe an occasion when someone visited your home. You should say: who the person was what the occasion was what you did for the occasion and the visitor and explain how you felt about this.   Model Answer 1: A few months ago, one of my maternal uncles visited our home (home of my family that is). The occasion, of course, one of the major religious festivals of my country, which we were about to celebrate together. Today, I would like to about that visit in as much details as possible. My uncle, the most senior older brother of my mother, is very much like a “word traveller”. No, seriously, he travels to at least 2/3 new places every year, whether travelling some places in his home country or abroad except, of course, he doesn’t travel to those places for fun or pleasure. But, rather, he travels to those places because of running his business. So, yes, it is fair to suggest that he is a successful businessman, and he has at least 6/7 big and small business portfolios. Anyway, my uncle has visited us before several times to spend a few hours with us here and there, but this time around, he had actually informed us in advance that he would spend at least two days with us in order to celebrate the religious festival. Needless to say, we just couldn’t wait when I heard that news. So, we, especially my mother, started to cook our favourite foods, as well as the dishes that my uncle really liked. We even bought some gifts, like clothes and shoes, for my uncle as best as we could, because, we knew that there would be lots of gifts, coming on our way, when he arrives at our home, and we also needed to reciprocate a little by offering some of our own gifts to him. Anyway, when my uncle arrived, it was indeed a very happy occasion for all of us. In fact, those two days, which he spent with us, was precious for me and my siblings because he had shared some of his very fond memories with us when we all were little. Besides, the visit also allowed us to see the real kind and loving person in my uncle, who we thought only cared about making a profit.   Sample Answer 2: We often have guests, visitors and relatives in our home and for a special occasion like a birthday party, several invited guests come to our home.   One such occasion and special guest I remember came to our home 2-3 years back. He was a famous writer and came to our home on the occasion of my older sister’s marriage ceremony. He was known to the father of the bridegroom’s senior brother and a well-known figure in our city. His name is Mr Jonathon Durik (…say a name you like…) and when he arrived all of us recognised him. The marriage ceremony was a big program and almost 200 people attended the ceremony. We had to prepare for the program for about a week before the due date. This ceremony was arranged in our own house and we had been tremendously busy for the occasion. A marriage ceremony is a big arrangement and my parents were very busy as well as sad that my sister would be leaving our house after her marriage. This was a big event and there were lots of things to be done. I had been so busy and had to greet and serve so many guests that I had a hard time concentrating. The bridegroom and their relatives arrived and we got even busier. They introduced the guests to us and one of them was Mr Durik. I greeted him and helped him sitting on a comfortable couch. I got busy with other stuff and came to the guests from time to time to look after if he needed anything. I asked what type of foods he would prefer to eat and took him to the dining place. I had a short conversation with him and I told him that I have read some of his books and those were good stories. He smiled and asked me if I have enjoyed a book called ‘Shadows and smiles’. I understood that he was trying to figure out if I have really read his books or just told so to convince him. I told him the reasons I liked that book and I found him smiling. In the evening, just before the time of the guest’s departure, I brought a book written by him and asked if he would be kind enough to give me an autograph. He signed it and wrote a complementary note on the book. My feelings about the occasion of my sister’s marriage was a mixture of happiness and sadness. I was happy that she was getting married as well as sad that she would not be with us the way she had always been. About the writer’s visit to our house, I would say that was exciting. Meeting a famous person and having a conversation with him/ her is always exciting and I felt the same. I wish I had more times to talk to him as that would have let me talk more about his writings and books.   Similar Cue Card Topics Your ability to talk about this Cue Card Topic would also enable you to talk about the following Cue Card Topics as well: Describe a guest who visited your home recently. Describe a party recently had in your house. Describe a relative who often visits you.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Describe
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occasion
when someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visited
your home. You should say:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
the person was what the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occasion
was what you did for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occasion
and the visitor and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
how you felt about this.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Model Answer 1:

A few months ago, one of my maternal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uncles
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visited
our home (home of my family
that is
). The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occasion
,
of course
, one of the major religious festivals of my country, which we were about to celebrate together.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, I would like to about that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
in as
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
as possible.

My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uncle
, the most senior older brother of my mother, is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much like a “word
Possible spelling mistake found.
traveller
”. No,
seriously
, he travels to at least 2/3 new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
every year, whether travelling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in his home country or abroad except,
of course
, he doesn’t travel to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
for fun or pleasure.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
rather
, he travels to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of running his business.

So
, yes, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
to suggest that he is a successful businessman, and he has at least 6/7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
business portfolios.
Anyway
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uncle
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visited
us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
to spend a few hours with us here and there,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
around, he had
actually
informed us in advance that he would spend at least two days with us in order to celebrate the religious festival.
Needless to say
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
couldn’t wait when I heard that news.
So
, we,
especially
my mother,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to cook our
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
foods, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as the dishes that my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uncle
really
liked. We even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
gifts, like clothes and shoes, for my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uncle
as
Did you mean "good"?
best
as we could,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, we knew that there would be lots of gifts, coming on our way, when he arrives at our home, and we
also
needed to reciprocate a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
by offering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
gifts to him.

Anyway
, when my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uncle
arrived, it was
indeed
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occasion
for all of us. In fact, those two days, which he spent with us, was precious for me and my siblings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he had shared
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of his
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fond memories with us when we all were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
.
Besides
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the real kind and loving person in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uncle
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cared about making a profit.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Sample Answer 2:

We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guests
, visitors and relatives in our home and for a special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occasion
like a birthday party, several invited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guests
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to our home.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
One such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occasion
and special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guest
I remember came to our home 2-3 years back. He was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
writer and came to our home on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occasion
of my older sister’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ceremony
. He
was known
to the father of the bridegroom’s senior brother and a
well
-known figure in our city. His name is Mr Jonathon
Possible spelling mistake found.
Durik
(…say a name you like…) and when he arrived all of us
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
him. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ceremony
was a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
program and almost 200
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
attended the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ceremony
. We had to prepare for the program for about a week
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the due date. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ceremony
was arranged
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
house and
we had been
tremendously
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occasion
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ceremony
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
arrangement and my parents were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as sad that my sister would be leaving our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
after her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
. This was a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
and there were lots of things to
be done
. I had been
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
and had to greet and serve
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guests
that I had a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
concentrating. The bridegroom and their relatives
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
arrived and
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
even busier. They introduced the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guests
to us and one of them was Mr
Possible spelling mistake found.
Durik
. I greeted him and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
him
The verb 'greeted' is used with an infinitive: "to sit" or "sit".
sitting
on a comfortable couch. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
with other stuff and came to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guests
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to look after if he needed anything.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
asked what type of foods he would prefer to eat and took him to the dining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
had a short conversation with him and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
him that I have read
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and those were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
stories. He smiled and asked me if I have enjoyed a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
called ‘Shadows and smiles’. I understood that he was trying to figure out if I have
really
read his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
so
to convince him. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
him the reasons I liked that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
and I found him smiling. In the evening,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guest’s
departure, I brought a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
written by him and asked if he would be kind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to give me an autograph. He signed it and wrote a complementary note on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
. My feelings about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occasion
of my sister’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
was a mixture of happiness and sadness. I was happy that she was getting married as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as sad that she would not be with us the way she had always been. About the writer’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
, I would say that was exciting. Meeting a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
person and having a conversation with him/ her is always exciting and I felt the same. I wish I had more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talk
to him as that would have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talk
more about his writings and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Similar Cue Card Topics Your ability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talk
about this Cue Card Topic would
also
enable you to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talk
about the following Cue Card Topics as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Describe
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visited
your home recently.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Describe
a party recently had in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Describe
a relative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visits
you.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
90Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS speaking Describe an occasion when someone visited your home. v. 1

Speaking
  American English
6 paragraphs
941 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts