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Describe an interesting story you heard when you were a child. v.1

Describe an interesting story you heard when you were a child. v. 1
Describe an interesting story you heard when you were a child. You should say: who told you the story what was the story why you think it was an interesting story and explain why you still remember this story.   Model Answer 1: I heard a lot of stories from my parents and grandparents when I was growing up as a child. Some of those stories were funny, exciting and fairy tales while the others were sad or thought-provoking. However, today I would like to share a story here, told to me by my old grandfather, which is about the sheer bravery of a person. The story goes like this - back in the days of my grandfather in the early 1920s, they used to live in a village which was surrounded by many forests. However, having forests around the village of my grandparents was not exactly an issue for them if some tigers also hadn’t lived in those forests and preyed on their cattle and goats at will. But, unfortunately, none of the villagers, where my grandparents had lived, was brave enough to take the challenge to kill their forest enemies. So, they decided to seek help from one of the strongest (a bodybuilder) and bravest persons, they knew, from another village, who had the experience of killing a few tigers by using a rifle. This mystery person came to the village of my grandfather and set up a tent at a strategic location to kill the tiger. After waiting for a couple of nights, the brave hunter finally saw a tiger in the village on the third night.   Seeing this, the tiger hunter immediately came out with his rifle and tried to pull his trigger but, unfortunately, he wasn’t able to do so in time. So, the tiger attacked him and injured him, even though it was eventually killed by the bullet from his rifle. Anyway, it was indeed an interesting story because the brave hunter actually overpowered the tiger, even though he lost one of his ears in the process. Anyway, I still remember this story because it actually gave me a live image of the difficult life that people lived a century ago when they had to constantly struggle with nature to survive. Besides, it also taught me to be strong and brave if I really needed to face any challenge in my life.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Describe
an interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
you heard when you were a child. You should say: who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
you the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
what was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
why you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it was an interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why you
still
remember this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Model Answer 1: I heard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
from my parents and grandparents when I was growing up as a child.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
, exciting and fairy tales while the others were sad or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
-provoking.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
I would like to share a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
here,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
The verb 'to tell someone' does not require a preposition.
to me
by my
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
grandfather, which is about the sheer bravery of a person.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
goes like this
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
back in the days of my grandfather in the early 1920s, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
which
was surrounded
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forests
.
However
, having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forests
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
of my grandparents was not exactly an issue for them if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tigers
also
hadn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forests
and preyed on their cattle and goats at will.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, unfortunately, none of the villagers, where my grandparents had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
, was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brave
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to take the challenge to kill their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forest
enemies.
So
, they decided to seek
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from one of the strongest (a bodybuilder) and bravest persons, they knew, from another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
, who had the experience of killing a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tigers
by using a rifle.

This mystery person came to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
of my grandfather and set up a tent at a strategic location to kill the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tiger
. After waiting for a couple of nights, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brave
hunter
finally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tiger
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
on the third night.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Seeing this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tiger
hunter immediately came out with his rifle and tried to pull his trigger
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, unfortunately, he wasn’t able to do
so
in time.
So
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tiger
attacked him and injured him,
even though
it was
eventually
killed by the bullet from his rifle.
Anyway
, it was
indeed
an interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brave
hunter
actually
overpowered the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tiger
,
even though
he lost one of his ears in the process.

Anyway
, I
still
remember this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
actually
gave me a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
image of the difficult life that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
a century ago when they had to
constantly
struggle with nature to survive.
Besides
, it
also
taught me to be strong and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brave
if I
really
needed to face any challenge in my life.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS speaking Describe an interesting story you heard when you were a child. v. 1

Speaking
  American English
4 paragraphs
399 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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