Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Describe a special occasion in your life. v.1

Describe a special occasion in your life. v. 1
Describe a special occasion in your life. You should say: where this occasion took place when it occurred who was there and explain how you felt on this special occasion.   Model Answer 1: I am usually one of those people who like to remain satisfied with whatever little they have in their possession. So, every little thing I get in my life becomes an occasion of happiness for me. But, today, I would like to talk about an occasion which was no way a small one for me, when I was offered a handsome amount of money (at least “handsome” by my standard and expectation) by my parents to buy a small flat in my little home town about a few years ago. Again, it was about a few years ago, and I had just managed to save up some money from my job in order to buy a small flat in my hometown. By the way, buying a new flat for me wasn’t exactly a matter of luxury for me. But, I decided to do so because I was living in a rather small flat with my parents, along with my elder brother, his wife and his two grown-up children. So, I felt that if I could move to my own flat, it would allow my entire family a little more space for living comfortably. Besides, if I could buy that flat, it would also become an asset for me in future. So, anyway, I told my parents about my intention, and they happily agreed with me. Of course, I also told them at the same time that I didn’t have enough money to buy the flat, I had chosen.   That was supposed to be the end of the story, but suddenly, a few weeks later, they offered me a paycheck of a certain amount of money, in order to help me buy the flat, with the money I had managed to save up before. Needless to say, I felt speechless with their act of generosity. In fact, I couldn’t believe that they would offer me their hard-earned money at an old age. But, at the same time, I also felt very happy and proud of my old parents who were still thinking about the well-being and happiness of their children.   Sample Answer 2: There are many events and occasions in my life which I treat as important events and out of those, my admission to the (. . . say your university name. . . ) was a very special occasion for me. Since the university is located in (. . . say a city name. . . ) I would say this occasion took place there. I got admitted to this university in 2004 and I had to compete with several other students to be accepted. It is one of the most famous university and for a single position, more than 20 candidates compete.   My future career, what I will do, where I will be and what I will become would be shaped by this event. If I had been admitted to a different university in a different faculty, things in my life would have been different. That's why I consider this event as a very significant event in my life. When I came to get admitted to the university, my father was with me.   As I have already told this was a very important occasion in my life as it would shape my future and what I become. I felt very overwhelmed when I got admitted to this university. I felt proud to be allowed to study there, and my parents were very proud as well. I felt a bit sad that I would have to leave my family afterwards but I knew that was for a greater purpose. I felt that a different part of my life is going to start and I was determined to follow the right track with time.     Similar Cue Card Topics Your ability to talk about this Cue Card Topic would enable you to talk about the following Cue Card Topics as well: Describe a happy memory you have. Describe a memorable day in your life. Describe a special event you remember well.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Describe
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occasion
in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. You should say: where this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occasion
took place when it occurred who was there and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
how you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
felt
on this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occasion
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Model Answer 1:

I am
usually
one of those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who like to remain satisfied with whatever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
little
they have in their possession.
So
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
little
thing I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occasion
of happiness for me.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, I would like to talk about an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occasion
which was no way a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
one for me, when I
was offered
a handsome amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
(at least “handsome” by my standard and expectation) by my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flat
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
little
home town about a few years ago.

Again, it was about a few years ago, and I had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
managed to save up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from my job in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flat
in my hometown. By the way, buying a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flat
for me wasn’t exactly a matter of luxury for me.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I decided to do
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I was living in a
rather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flat
with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, along with my elder brother, his wife and his two grown-up children.
So
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
felt
that if I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flat
, it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
my entire family a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
little
more space for living
comfortably
.

Besides
, if I could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flat
, it would
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
an asset for me
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
So
,
anyway
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
about my intention, and they
happily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
with me.
Of course
, I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
them at the same time that I didn’t have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flat
, I had chosen.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
That
was supposed
to be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the story,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
suddenly
, a few weeks later, they offered me a paycheck of a certain amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flat
, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
I had managed to save up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

Needless to say
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
felt
speechless with their act of generosity. In fact, I couldn’t believe that they would offer me their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-earned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
at an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, at the same time, I
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
felt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happy and proud of my
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who were
still
thinking about the
well
-being and happiness of their children.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Sample Answer 2:

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occasions
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which I treat as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
and out of those, my admission to the (.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
say
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
name.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Loose punctuation mark.
)
was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occasion
for me.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is located
in (.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
say
a city name.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Loose punctuation mark.
)
I would say this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occasion
took place there. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admitted
to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
in 2004 and I had to compete with several other students to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
. It is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and for a single position, more than 20 candidates compete.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
My future career, what I will do, where I will be and what I will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
would
be shaped
by this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
. If I had been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admitted
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
faculty, things in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
would have been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
. That's why I consider this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. When I came to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admitted
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, my father was with me.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
As I have already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
this was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occasion
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as it would shape my future and what I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
felt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
overwhelmed when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admitted
to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
felt
proud to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to study there, and my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
proud as
well
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
felt
a bit sad that I would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
my family afterwards
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I knew that was for a greater purpose.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
felt
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
part of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is going to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
start and
I
was determined
to follow the
right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
with time.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
   
Similar Cue Card Topics Your ability to talk about this Cue Card Topic would enable you to talk about the following Cue Card Topics as
well
:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Describe
a happy memory you have.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Describe
a memorable day in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Describe
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
you remember
well
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
90Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Mistakes

IELTS speaking Describe a special occasion in your life. v. 1

Speaking
  American English
6 paragraphs
710 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts