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Describe a happy event of your life. v.1

Describe a happy event of your life. v. 1
Describe a happy event of your life. You should talk about: what  the event was when it was why it was a memorable and happy event for you and give some details of the event. Follow-up Questions: What makes people happy? Do you believe money can bring happiness in life? Why childhood is the best time for so many people?   Model Answer 1: Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to talk about such an interesting topic. In fact, I have had several happy events in my life which I remember today.   But, I would like to talk about just one of those happy events which I consider to be very special also. It happened about 8/9 years ago or so, when I just had graduated from my university, and I was very much eager to get a full-time job or some kind of internship. But, the problem was, it was not easy for me to get any job or internship because I didn’t have any kind of formal experience. On top of that, I also didn’t have any access to a computer or the internet at my residence. In other words, applying to jobs wasn’t exactly as easy in those days as it is today. So, I was basically relying on checking for job postings on different local and national daily newspapers and then applying for them by using either postal mail or fax. Needless to say, applying to jobs, one after another, in such old and traditional methods required a substantial amount of money which was not exactly easy for a student like me with no particular source of income. So, at one point, I even decided to do some private tutoring in order to pay for the cost of my job application. In this way, my job applying mission had continued for about 5/6 months before I started to get an invitation for job interviews. I even needed to travel a few cities outside of my hometown to attend the interviews. But, I was getting a bit frustrated as I was not receiving any positive news from any end, even after trying for long 6/7 months. But, finally, on a fine Thursday morning, I received the good news in an official letter. In fact, I would consider that day to be one of the most memorable and happy days of my life as that’s the day when I received the news of my first job offer.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Describe
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. You should talk about: what
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
was when it was why it was a memorable and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
for you and give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
. Follow-up Questions: What
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
? Do you believe money can bring happiness in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
? Why childhood is the best time for
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
?
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Model Answer 1:

Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to talk about such an interesting topic. In fact, I have had several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which I remember
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I would like to talk about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
which I consider to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
special
also
.

It happened about 8/9 years ago or
so
, when I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
had graduated from my university, and I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much eager to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a full-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of internship.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, the problem was, it was not easy for me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or internship
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I didn’t have any kind of formal experience.
On top of that
, I
also
didn’t have any access to a computer or the internet at my residence.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applying
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
wasn’t exactly as easy in those days as it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.

So
, I was
basically
relying on checking for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
postings on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
local and national daily newspapers and then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applying
for them by using either postal mail or fax.
Needless to say
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applying
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, one after another, in such
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and traditional methods required a substantial amount of money which was not exactly easy for a student like me with no particular source of income.
So
, at one point, I even decided to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
private tutoring in order to pay for the cost of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
application. In this way, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applying
mission had continued for about 5/6 months
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an invitation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
interviews. I even needed to travel a few cities
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
my hometown to attend the interviews.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I was getting a bit frustrated as I was not receiving any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
news from any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, even after trying for long 6/7 months.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
finally
, on a fine Thursday morning, I received the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
news in an official letter. In fact, I would consider that day to be one of the most memorable and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
days of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as that’s the day when I received the news of my
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
offer.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS speaking Describe a happy event of your life. v. 1

Speaking
  American English
5 paragraphs
411 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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