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Describe a musical event in your country. v.1

Describe a musical event in your country. v. 1
Describe a musical event in your country. You should say what type of musical event it is where it takes place what kinds of music are played/performed at the event and explain why you or people in your country enjoy it. Follow-up Questions: What type of music is famous in your country? What are the influences of western music in teenagers in your country? Why is music important? Which one is more important: traditional music or western music?   Model Answer 1: Many Indians, like me, consider “India” as a “land of music”. In fact, it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that music is in our blood as there are so many different kinds of musical events in my country. Today, I would like to talk about one such musical event which I also happen to enjoy. The name of this musical event is called the “Sunburn Musical Festival”. It is also considered as Asia's biggest electronic music festival. This musical event takes place in the smallest Indian state of Goa, located in the southwestern region of India, every year in December, and continues for three days. The event actually is an amalgamation of Music, Entertainment, Food and Shopping, and was ranked by CNN in 2009 as one of the Top 10 Festivals in the world. The musical event also grew to be ranked as the 3rd largest dance festival in the world, after Tomorrowland and Ultra as per the IMS APAC Business Report 2014. This particular musical event is called Electronic dance music (EDM), where a broad range of percussive electronic music genres is played simultaneously in different stages. After starting its journey in the year of 2007,   Sunburn took “Goa” by storm and proved itself as India's pioneering dance music festival by creating a craze of Electronic Dance Music in teenagers while also showing a new modern and evolving trend in colleges throughout the whole India. Anyway, I like this particular musical event, primarily because it is different from other musical events in a sense that it can produce literally any kind of sounds, from the chirping of birds to a girl screaming, from breaking glasses to screeching discs, and so much more. In fact, I would even dare to suggest that music is unlimited in this genre, as opposed to other “traditional music genre”. Besides, I enjoy this musical event also because the music there creates a certain type of “beat and rhythm” that makes me feel like dancing and happy, unlike any other music.   Model Answer 2: I’m going to tell you today about a major musical event in my Country, which is England in the UK. I’ll tell you what it is, where and when it takes place, the sort of music and why I think it is so significant… even though I’m not sure I’d really say I personally enjoy it! The event I want to talk about is the BBC Proms. This is an annual summer festival that has been taking place since 1895 so is a well-established fixture in the UK. The festival is of orchestral classical music, the main focus of the festival is the impressive Royal Albert Hall in London, which is a huge domed venue that seats over 5, 500 people. As well as the daily concerts there are lots of satellite events in schools and parks, over the eight week period there are probably more than 100 concerts. Some dedicated ‘Prommers’ will get season tickets and attend as many of these as they can. I’m not entirely sure why this concert season is known as ‘The ‘Proms’. I know Prom is short for Promenade concert, and I suppose originally these were outside events where people could stroll around (promenade) whilst the music was playing.   Now, within the hall itself, I don’t think to stroll around is approved of! However, unusually for classical concerts, at the BBC Proms, there are lots of extra tickets made available for standing only. These are comparatively cheap tickets allowing concert-goers to stand in the arena and gallery areas of the hall. Consequently, the concerts are always packed and accessible to far wider audiences than is usual for classical music which is often too expensive for ordinary people to afford to attend. Although The Proms go on for eight weeks, the really famous event is the closing concert or ‘Last Night of the Proms’. This is always televised and sometimes big screens are put up in parks across London so people who couldn’t get tickets to the event can still watch and join in with the atmosphere. Traditionally this closing concert is quite raucous! People will dress up in patriotic costumes and wave union jack flags. This last concert in the series is usually quite light in tone, with popular classics in the first half, followed by rousing British Patriotic pieces in the second half which many audience members will join in singing with gusto! The sequence traditionally includes pieces by English composers such as Elgar’s ‘Pomp and Circumstance’ and Arne’s ‘Rule Britannia’ and usually concludes with a rendition of ‘Jerusalem’ and the British National Anthem. Informally, post-concert, audiences often spontaneously break out and sing ‘Auld Lang Syne’ but it isn’t a formal part of the program, rather a newly emerged tradition. For many, the Last Night of the Proms is quintessentially English. A display of patriotism and a celebration of English Music and traditions. Tickets are extremely hard to come by and although the preceding eight weeks of concerts are really aimed at classical music aficionados, the last night is certainly widely watched and enjoyed. For my own part, I have to admit a little sheepishly it isn’t really my thing. I sometimes feel uncomfortable with all the displays of patriotic fervour and think some of the sentiments expressed are rather old-fashioned and inappropriate. Even so, it is an impressive tradition, and if you were a visitor from overseas who happened to be in London in the second week in September I’d definitely encourage you to get along and experience it if you could. You will see English pomp and ceremony, hear British composers and be amazed at how even the stereotypically reserved British, can indeed sometimes be persuaded to come out to play! [By- Lucy Marris: Careers Adviser (UK), TEFL teacher (Vietnam)]
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Describe
a
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musical
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event
in your
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country
. You should say what type of
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musical
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event
it is where it takes
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place
what kinds of
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music
are played
/performed at the
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event
and
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explain
why you or
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people
in your
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country
enjoy it. Follow-up Questions: What type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
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famous
in your
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country
? What are the influences of western
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music
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
? Why is
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music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
? Which one is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
: traditional
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music
or western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
?
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Model Answer 1:

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
Indians, like me, consider “India” as a “land of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music”
. In fact, it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is in our blood as there are
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, I would like to talk about one such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
which I
also
happen to enjoy.

The name of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
is called
the “Sunburn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Festival”
. It is
also
considered as Asia's biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
takes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
in the smallest Indian state of Goa, located in the southwestern region of India, every year in December, and continues for three days. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
actually
is an amalgamation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
, Entertainment, Food and Shopping, and
was ranked
by CNN in 2009 as one of the Top 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Festivals
in the world.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
also
grew to
be ranked
as the 3rd largest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
in the world, after Tomorrowland and Ultra as per the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
IMS
APAC Business Report 2014. This particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
is called
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
(EDM), where a broad range of percussive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
genres
is played
simultaneously
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stages. After starting its journey in the year of 2007,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Sunburn took “Goa” by storm and proved itself as India's pioneering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
by creating a craze of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Dance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
while
also
showing a new modern and evolving trend in colleges throughout the whole India.

Anyway
, I like this particular
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musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
,
primarily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
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events
in a sense that it can produce
literally
any kind of sounds, from the chirping of birds to a girl screaming, from breaking glasses to screeching discs, and
so
much more. In fact, I would even dare to suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is unlimited
in this genre, as opposed to other “traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
genre”.
Besides
, I enjoy this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
there creates a certain type of “beat and rhythm” that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
me feel like dancing and happy, unlike any other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Model Answer 2:

I’m going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
about a major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
, which is England in the UK. I’ll
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you what it is, where and when it takes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
, the sort of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
so
significant…
even though
I’m not sure I’d
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
say I
personally
enjoy it! The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
I want to talk about is the BBC
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Proms
. This is an annual summer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
that has been taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
since 1895
so
is a
well
-established fixture in the UK. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
is of orchestral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, the main focus of the
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festival
is the impressive Royal Albert Hall in London, which is a
Make sure that the adjective 'huge' is correct. Possibly, it should be an adverb (typically ~ly) that modifies 'domed'. Possibly, it should be the first word in a compound adjective (hyphenated adjective). Possibly, it is correct.
huge domed
venue that seats over 5, 500
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people
. As
well
as the daily
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concerts
there are lots of satellite
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events
in schools and parks, over the eight
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week
period there are
probably
more than 100
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concerts
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
dedicated ‘
Possible spelling mistake found.
Prommers
’ will
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get
season
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tickets
and attend as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of these as they can. I’m not
entirely
sure why this
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concert
season
is known
as ‘The
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‘Proms’
. I know
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Prom
is short for Promenade
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concert
, and I suppose
originally
these were outside
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events
where
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people
could stroll around (promenade) whilst the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
was playing.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, within the hall itself, I don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
to stroll around
is approved
of!
However
,
unusually
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerts
, at the BBC
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Proms
, there are lots of extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
made available for standing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. These are
comparatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
allowing concert-goers to stand in the arena and gallery areas of the hall.
Consequently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerts
are always packed and accessible to far wider audiences than is usual for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
too expensive for ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to afford to attend. Although The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Proms
go on for eight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weeks
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
is the closing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concert
or ‘Last Night of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Proms’
. This is always televised and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
screens
are put
up in parks across London
so
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people
who couldn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
can
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
in with the atmosphere.
Traditionally
this closing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concert
is quite raucous!
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
will dress up in patriotic costumes and wave
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
union jack
flags. This last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concert
in the series is
usually
quite light in tone, with popular classics in the
first
half, followed by rousing British Patriotic pieces in the second half which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
audience members will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
in singing with gusto! The sequence
traditionally
includes pieces by English composers such as Elgar’s ‘Pomp and Circumstance’ and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Arne
’s ‘
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Rule
Britannia’ and
usually
concludes with a rendition of ‘Jerusalem’ and the British National Anthem.
Informally
, post-concert, audiences
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
spontaneously
break out and sing ‘
Possible spelling mistake found.
Auld
Lang
Possible spelling mistake found.
Syne
’
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it isn’t a formal part of the program,
rather
a
newly
emerged tradition. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
, the Last Night of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Proms
is
quintessentially
English. A display of patriotism and a celebration of English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
and traditions.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tickets
are
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
by and although the preceding eight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weeks
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerts
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
aimed at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
aficionados, the last night is
certainly
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
and enjoyed. For my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
part, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
admit a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
sheepishly
it isn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
my thing. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
feel uncomfortable with all the displays of patriotic
Possible spelling mistake found.
fervour
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
sentiments expressed are
rather
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashioned and inappropriate. Even
so
, it is an impressive tradition, and if you were a visitor from overseas who happened to be in London in the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
in September I’d definitely encourage you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along and experience it if you could. You will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
English pomp and ceremony, hear British composers and
be amazed
at how even the
stereotypically
reserved British, can
indeed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
be persuaded
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out to play! [By- Lucy
Possible spelling mistake found.
Marris
: Careers Adviser (UK), TEFL teacher (Vietnam)]
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
123Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Mistakes

IELTS speaking Describe a musical event in your country. v. 1

Speaking
  American English
6 paragraphs
1053 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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