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Describe a children's story that you know well. v.1

Describe a children's story that you know well. v. 1
Describe a children's story that you know well. You should say: when you first heard or read it what you particularly liked about it what the story is and explain why you still remember it.   Model Answer 1: I have heard about a number of children’s stories before from my grandparents and my parents as a child.   Anyway, while all of those stories were interesting in some ways, I can’t really remember any of them that well except only a few, and I would just like to tell about one of those few stories today here. I heard the story for the first time from my grandmother about 20 years ago.   The story was about a horse which was born and raised in the house of a landlord a long time ago.   The landlord and his entire family loved the horse very dearly.   By the way, they loved the horse because it was very loyal.   Suddenly, on an early morning, the landlord saw no horse in his barn, when he was going to let his loyal animal out of his horse barn.   The horse owner looked everywhere in his house and the rest of the areas in his village, but no trace of the horse was to be found anywhere. Actually, the horse got stolen and that’s why it was not to be found anywhere.   Needless to say, every member of the landlord’s family felt very sad and mourned for days.   However, after a few months, when they almost forgot about the horse, it suddenly showed up in his barn of the landlord.   The entire family of the landlord rushed to the stable and found that their beloved horse was standing in their barn while both eyes of the horse were full of tears.   Seeing the horse crying, every family member of the landlord became very emotional. Anyway, I remember the story because it showed some rare but true loving bond between an animal and his caretaker as the horse was finally able to escape from his captivity and find its way back to the place of his old owner to reunite with him even though, the animal was kept hidden hundreds of miles away from his original shelter.   Besides, the tears in the eyes of the horse, after reuniting with his old owner, were indeed a very touching moment for anybody who loves animals.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Describe
a children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
that
you know
well
. You should say: when you
first
heard or read it what you
particularly
liked about it what the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
is and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why you
still
remember it.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Model Answer 1: I have heard about a number of children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
from my grandparents and my parents as a child.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Anyway
, while all of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
were
Did you mean "interested"?
interesting
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways, I can’t
really
remember any of them that
well
except
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few, and I would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
about one of those few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
here.

I heard the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
for the
first
time from my grandmother about 20 years ago.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
was about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
horse
which
was born
and raised in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
landlord
a long time ago.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
landlord
and his entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
horse
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
dearly
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
By the way, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
horse
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
loyal.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Suddenly
, on an early morning, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
landlord
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
horse
in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
barn
, when he was going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
his loyal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
out of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
horse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
barn
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
horse
owner looked everywhere in his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and the rest of the areas in his village,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
no trace of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
horse
was to
be found
anywhere.
Actually
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
horse
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
stolen and that’s why it was not to
be found
anywhere.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Needless to say
, every member of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
landlord’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
felt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sad and mourned for days.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
However
, after a few months, when they almost forgot about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
horse
, it
suddenly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
up in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
barn
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
landlord
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
The entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
landlord
rushed to the stable and found that their beloved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
horse
was standing in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
barn
while both eyes of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
horse
were full of tears.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Seeing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
horse
crying, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
member of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
landlord
became
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
emotional.

Anyway
, I remember the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
true loving bond between an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
and his caretaker as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
horse
was
finally
able to escape from his captivity and find its way back to the place of his
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
owner to reunite with him
even though
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
hidden hundreds of miles away from his original shelter.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Besides
, the tears in the eyes of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
horse
, after reuniting with his
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
owner, were
indeed
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
touching moment for anybody who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes

IELTS speaking Describe a children's story that you know well. v. 1

Speaking
  American English
3 paragraphs
407 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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