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Your child is going on a school trip abroad for three days and the headmaster of the school has asked any parents if they would like to come along to assists you would like to go write a letter to the headmaster in your letter say why you would like to go suggest what you could do to help during trip ask some further questions about the trip

Your child is going on a school trip abroad for three days and the headmaster of the school has asked any parents if they would like to come along to assists you would like to go write a letter to the headmaster in your letter say why you would like to go suggest what you could do to help during trip ask some further questions about the trip n6EEE
I am writing to your regarding the upcoming trip to paris for which you are looking for people to accompany the children. i am the father of john and I would like to join and help out. I can assist during this time because I am currently off work for a months and I would like to find something to fill up my free time and this would be perfect. As you remember, I have helped the school out on a variety of event, such as the school sport day last summer and also at the jumble sale just a few month ago. There are number of things I could do help out. I can come early in the morning to school before we leave and make sure everybody is accounted for and on the bus. But of particular relevance is the fact that I can speak French I know paris quite well, so I will be able to assist with the day to day practicalities of moving the children around and going to the museums and other attractions that we will visit. There are, though, some things I would still like to know about and to clarify. Do you have an itinerary you can send me so I know what we are going to see whilst there? This will be useful as I can then prepare myself with some background reading. i also wondered what time exactly are due to arrive back in the uk at school? I have an event in the evening of the 15th when we are due to come back. i would like to let them know in advance if this will be the case. Thank you for your considering my offer and I look forward to hearing from you, Yours sincerely, Alash sanjel
I am writing to your regarding the upcoming trip to
Possible spelling mistake found.
paris
for which you are looking for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to accompany the children.
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am the father of john and I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
out. I can assist during this time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I am
currently
off work for a months and I would like to find something to fill up my free time and this would be perfect. As you remember, I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
out on a variety of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
, such as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
sport day last summer and
also
at the jumble sale
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few month ago. There are number of things I could do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
out. I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
early in the morning to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure everybody
is accounted
for and on the bus.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
of particular relevance is the fact that I can speak French I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
Possible spelling mistake found.
paris
quite well,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I will be able to assist with the
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
practicalities of moving the children around and going to the museums and other attractions that we will visit. There are, though,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
things I would
still
like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about and to clarify. Do you have an itinerary you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
what we are going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
whilst there? This will be useful as I can then prepare myself with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
background reading.
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
also
wondered what time exactly are due to arrive back in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
uk
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
? I have an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
in the evening of the 15th when we are due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back.
Did you mean "I"?
i
would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
in advance if this will be the case. Thank you for your considering my offer and I look forward to hearing from you, Yours
sincerely
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Alash
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
sanjel
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IELTS letter Your child is going on a school trip abroad for three days and the headmaster of the school has asked any parents if they would like to come along to assists you would like to go write a letter to the headmaster in your letter say why you would like to go suggest what you could do to help during trip ask some further questions about the trip

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
298 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Your child is going on a school trip abroad for three days and the headmaster of the school has asked any parents if they would like to come along to assists you would like to go write a letter to the headmaster in your letter say why you would like to go suggest what you could do to help during trip ask some further questions about the trip