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You recently went to a concert and thought one of the singers was very good. You want to tell him how you feel. Write a letter to the singer. In your letter • Say how you feel about his performance • Give details of your musical activities • Explain how you would like him to help you with your musical activities

You recently went to a concert and thought one of the singers was very good. You want to tell him how you feel. Write a letter to the singer. In your letter • Say how you feel about his performance • Give details of your musical activities • Explain how you would like him to help you with your musical activities 5YEB
Dear Baiju Sir, I am writing this letter to express how I felt in your last live performance in Mumbai. I was there at the show when you were playing along with other great musicians. I couldn’t take my eyes off you when you were playing guitar and taking the whole spotlight away from the other artist in between your solo. Even I like to play guitar and I’m learning it for the last 5 years though my skills are not that perfect as yours even I had tried performing in few music festivals. I love playing acoustic most of the time with my band but nowadays I am even learning Bass too. I know even you have an institute in Mumbai where you teach students and give guitar lessons. Would you kindly give me a chance to learn under you and brush up my skills apart from that I would also like to learn a lot about bass which you might be able to teach me as you’re exceptional in playing it? Thank you for your consideration. Yours faithfully, Yash.
Dear
Possible spelling mistake found.
Baiju
Sir,

I am writing this letter to express how I felt in your last
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
performance in Mumbai. I was there at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
when you were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
along with other great musicians.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
couldn’t take my eyes off you when you were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
guitar and taking the whole spotlight away from the other artist in between your solo.

Even I like to play guitar and I’m learning it for the last 5 years though my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are not that perfect as yours even I had tried performing in few music festivals. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
acoustic most of the time with my band
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nowadays I am even learning Bass too. I know even you have an institute in Mumbai where you teach students and give guitar lessons.

Would you kindly give me a chance to learn under you and brush up my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
apart from that I would
also
like to learn a lot about bass which you might be able to teach me as you’re exceptional in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
it?

Thank you for your consideration.

Yours
faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Yash
.

IELTS letter You recently went to a concert and thought one of the singers was very good. You want to tell him how you feel. Write a letter to the singer. In your letter • Say how you feel about his performance • Give details of your musical activities • Explain how you would like him to help you with your musical activities

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
181 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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