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You normally go shopping in the area where you live. However, you think some of the facilities for shoppers could be improved. v.1

You normally go shopping in the area where you live. However, you think some of the facilities for shoppers could be improved. v. 1
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter to express my opinion about the local shopping area where I frequently go shopping. They offer some really nice amenities but there are still scopes for improvements. I am hoping you would publish it in your newspaper so that the market authority learn about it and take initiatives to develop the area. To start with, the Agora Community Shopping Complex is the largest shopping market in our town where several thousand people shop every day. The strictly monitored market price and the availability of the products under a single roof are two attractive aspects of this market. Moreover, I like the way the shops are arranged on each floor. Overall, I am happy with this market and visit it almost twice to thrice each month. Regrettably, most of the shoppers still do not accept international credit cards. I have seen many tourists suffer due to this. Since this is a tourists area and many foreigners visit this market, the international credit cards should be accepted by all merchants. Besides, the food court area is really compact and cannot serve many customers at a time. One has to stand in a cue for a long even for a cup of tea! This area should be extended and more food businesses should be encouraged to open new shops for the convenience of shoppers. I think your newspaper is widely read in our area and if you run a poll regarding the issues I mentioned, you will find a realistic picture of it. Please publish an editorial and help improve the local people's shopping experience. Thank you in advance for giving the matter your attention. Yours faithfully, Mark Almond
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to express my opinion about the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
where I
frequently
go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. They offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
really
nice amenities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
still
scopes for improvements. I am hoping you would publish it in your newspaper
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
authority learn about it and take initiatives to develop the area.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, the Agora Community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shopping
Complex is the largest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
in our town where several thousand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
shop every day. The
strictly
monitored
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
price and the availability of the products under a single roof are two attractive aspects of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
.
Moreover
, I like the way the shops
are arranged
on each floor.
Overall
, I am happy with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
and visit it almost twice to thrice each month.

Regrettably
, most of the shoppers
still
do not accept international credit cards. I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tourists suffer due to this. Since this is a tourists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
foreigners visit this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
, the international credit cards should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by all merchants.
Besides
, the food court
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
is
really
compact and cannot serve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
customers at a time. One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
stand in a cue for a long even for a cup of tea! This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
should
be extended
and more food businesses should
be encouraged
to open new shops for the convenience of shoppers.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
your newspaper is
widely
read in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
and if you run a poll regarding the issues I mentioned, you will find a realistic picture of it.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
publish an editorial and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
experience.

Thank you in advance for giving the matter your attention.

Yours
faithfully
,

Mark Almond
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS letter You normally go shopping in the area where you live. However, you think some of the facilities for shoppers could be improved. v. 1

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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