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You have recently changed your job and started working for a new company. v.5

You have recently changed your job and started working for a new company. v. 5
Dear Jane, Hope you're doing well. It's been so long since I've heard from you. I was thinking of you the other day when I saw my neighbour's garden full of tulips. I am sure you are still a passionate gardener. You would be glad to hear that I have recently taken a job and moved to Ottawa, Canada. As you know, I was eagerly looking forward to settling in Ottowa with my family. So when I got a job offer from one of the prestigious hospitals in Ottawa, I accepted it. I liked my previous job in Ontario but had been stuck in the same position for a long and was not getting many chances to further my career. That's why I changed my job and so far I find my new responsibilities exciting. I am a general physician at the hospital and I have to look after the visiting patients to diagnosis and suggest treatment of illnesses. Sometimes I need to do some minor surgery. I must say that this place is absolutely amazing and the people are friendly, kind and accommodating. Aside from that, Ottawa is celebrating Tulip Festival annually in May, during the springtime. I know your passion for tulip and gardening. I bet you would definitely like it here. So far, I’m enjoying my life here and all the new experiences. I hope you could visit us soon. How are things back home in the United Kingdom? I am eagerly waiting to hear from you soon. Warm wishes, Eva
Dear Jane,

Hope you're doing well. It's been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
long since I've heard from you. I was thinking of you the other day when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
my
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbour' is British English.
neighbour
's garden full of tulips. I am sure you are
still
a passionate gardener. You would be glad to hear that I have recently taken a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to Ottawa, Canada.

As you know, I was
eagerly
looking forward to settling in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ottowa
with my family.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
offer from one of the prestigious hospitals in Ottawa, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
it. I liked my previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in Ontario
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
had
been stuck
in the same position for a long and was not getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
chances to
further
my career. That's why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far I find my new responsibilities exciting. I am a general physician at the hospital and I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
look after the visiting patients to diagnosis and suggest treatment of illnesses.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
I need to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
minor surgery.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
say that this place is
absolutely
amazing and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are friendly, kind and accommodating. Aside from that, Ottawa is celebrating Tulip Festival
annually
in May, during the springtime. I know your passion for tulip and gardening. I bet you would definitely like it here.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
far, I’m enjoying my life here and all the new experiences. I hope you could visit us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
. How are things back home in the United Kingdom?

I am
eagerly
waiting to hear from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Warm wishes,

Eva
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS letter You have recently changed your job and started working for a new company. v. 5

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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