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You have recently applied for a course at a college and have been accepted. However, you cannot join the course due to some reasons. v.2

You have recently applied for a course at a college and have been accepted. However, you cannot join the course due to some reasons. v. 2
Dear Sir or Madam, I am excited to be accepted into the "Advertising and Public Relations" course at your college in the summer semester. However, I regret to inform you that I will not be able to join the course as I was denied a visa from the embassy. Last March, I applied for a full-time four-year Bachelor of Arts course in “Advertising and Public Relations” and got the acceptance letter on 12th April. I initially planned to enrol in the course from the beginning of June but unfortunately, my visa application with the UK embassy was rejected. They are yet to send me details for the refusal but I thought I should inform you without any delay as someone else should get the chance. I guess I will have to wait for the next semester to start the course. I would like to request you to consider me for the next semester. In case this is not possible, I would like to know the procedure to apply again to the same course. I am looking forward to hearing from you at your convenience. Yours faithfully, Rohit Kumar
Dear Sir or Madam,

I
am excited
to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
into the
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Advertising and Public Relations
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
at your college in the summer semester.
However
, I regret to inform you that I will not be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
as I
was denied
a visa from the embassy.

Last March, I applied for a full-time four-year Bachelor of Arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
in “Advertising and Public Relations” and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the acceptance letter on 12th April. I
initially
planned to enrol in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
from the beginning of June
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unfortunately, my visa application with the UK embassy
was rejected
. They are
yet
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
for the refusal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
I should inform you without any delay as someone else should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the chance. I guess I will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wait for the
next
semester to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
the course.

I would like to request you to consider me for the
next
semester. In case this is not possible, I would like to know the procedure to apply again to the same course.

I am looking forward to hearing from you at your convenience.

Yours
faithfully
,

Rohit Kumar
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS letter You have recently applied for a course at a college and have been accepted. However, you cannot join the course due to some reasons. v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
187 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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