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You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you were studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • Give details of your study plans • Explain why you want to get a part-time job • Suggest how your friend could help you to find a job

Dear Eric, Hope you're doing great and I am writing to enquire about part-time job opportunities in London as I am planing to persue my Masters in Cambridge university. My course would commence by 1st week of March, so I am will be in London a week prior to it and have already arranged for accomdation on university portal. I have opted for Masters in Big data, as this would be of add on advantage for my career. I have applied for a scholarship too, as it would be tough for me to pay the lumpsum amount with my current saving. As I am running in sort of money, a part-time job would make my life easier. It would also help me meet my day-to-day expenses and save some for the next fee payment too. By working on part-time I would also get more references, which would help me get job easier in future in London. Working and studying also would help me learn to balance time in much better way. Though I've already done a initail search in university website on local job oppertunities and listed a few, but I don't find it very suitable for me. Since you're staying in same city for about 10 years now, you would be the apt person to help me in this. I would like you to suggest me a few employee friendly jobs which are near the univeristy as this would save me a lot of time from travelling. I am really excited to be in London and looking forward to meet you soon. Best Regards, Stefan Joseph
Dear Eric,

Hope you're doing
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
great and
I am writing to
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquire' is British English.
enquire
about part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities in London as I am planing to
Possible spelling mistake found.
persue
my Masters in Cambridge university.

My course would commence by 1st week of March,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I am will be in London a week prior to it and have already arranged for
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomdation
on university portal. I have opted for Masters in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Big
data, as this would be of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
on advantage for my career. I have applied for a scholarship too, as it would be tough for me to pay the
Possible spelling mistake found.
lumpsum
amount with my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
saving.

As I am running in sort of money, a part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
my life easier. It would
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
my day-to-day expenses and save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
for the
next
fee payment too.

By working on part-time I would
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more references, which would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
easier in future in London. Working and studying
also
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
me learn to balance time in much better way. Though I've already done
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
initail
search in university website on local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
Possible spelling mistake found.
oppertunities
and listed a few,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I don't find it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
suitable for me.

Since you're staying in same city for about 10 years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, you would be the apt person to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
me in this. I would like you to suggest me a few employee friendly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
which are near the
Possible spelling mistake found.
univeristy
as this would save me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time from travelling.

I am
really
excited to be in London and looking forward to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Best Regards,

Stefan Joseph

IELTS letter You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you were studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • Give details of your study plans • Explain why you want to get a part-time job • Suggest how your friend could help you to find a job

Letter
  American English
9 paragraphs
266 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you were studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • Give details of your study plans • Explain why you want to get a part-time job • Suggest how your friend could help you to find a job