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You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: give details of your study plans explain why you want to get a part-time job suggest how your friend could help you find a job

You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: give details of your study plans explain why you want to get a part-time job suggest how your friend could help you find a job KwoWN
Dear Jay, I am so excited to tell you the good news as I will be moving to Australia next month for my post-graduate studies. And I am writing today to ask a small favour from you regarding a part time job. I am planning to take the flight on May 22, 2021 to Melbourne, where I will be attending University of Melbourne for my master degree program. I have taken the course of computer science and the duration of my education is 2 years. Moreover, I have heard that the city is quite expensive and I think to bear the expenses, I may have to do a part-time job once I reach there, thus I would be grateful if you can help me to find it. I will be thankful to you if you can apply for some part time positions posted at the retail shops nearby your house, or if you can talk to your manager about any part time vacancy available in your company. I hope to see you very soon. Give my regards to your parents. Warm Wishes, Mira Kapoor
Dear Jay,

I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
excited to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
news as I will be moving to Australia
next
month for my post-graduate studies. And I am writing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
to ask a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
from you regarding a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
job.

I am planning to take the flight on May 22,
Some style guides suggest that commas should set off the year in a month-day-year date: "2021,".
2021
to Melbourne, where I will be attending University of Melbourne for my master degree program. I have taken the course of computer science and the duration of my education is 2 years.

Moreover
, I have heard that the city is quite expensive and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
to bear the expenses, I may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do a part-time job once I reach there,
thus
I would be grateful if you can
In informal texts, 'to' is not necessary. Do you mean "help me find"?
help me to find
it.

I will be thankful to you if you can apply for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
positions posted at the retail shops nearby your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, or if you can talk to your manager about any
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
vacancy available in your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

I hope to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
. Give my regards to your parents.

Warm Wishes,

Mira
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kapoor
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IELTS letter You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: give details of your study plans explain why you want to get a part-time job suggest how your friend could help you find a job

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
183 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: give details of your study plans explain why you want to get a part-time job suggest how your friend could help you find a job