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You are a foreign student. You want to join a club or society so that you can enjoy your time when you study there.write to the student union manager.introduce yourself. Write about your hobbies and interests. Ask for information about clubs and societies.

You are a foreign student. You want to join a club or society so that you can enjoy your time when you study there. write to the student union manager. introduce yourself. Write about your hobbies and interests. Ask for information about clubs and societies. nk8E
Dear sir, I am a new student of university in hotel management. I am going to start my classes from april. Aa I am intersted in joining any of club or society because there must be free time from studies so I want to utilise that time in better way. My hobby is to play football in free time as I am champion in my previous school. I am also intrested in cooking because I prefer to make my food in my own way. I prefer making dises with experiment. Every one should persue some of the hobbies and interests what ever they want. I want to make a request to send me detail information about all the facilities which are provided by the university in clubs and societies as i want to become a member to one of those. You can email me these details on my email id- jyotidahiya@yahoo. com. I look forward for your reply. Your sinceraly, Jyoti Dahiya
Dear sir, I am a new student of university in hotel management. I am going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
my classes from
Possible spelling mistake found.
april
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Aa
I am
Possible spelling mistake found.
intersted
in joining any of club or society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be free time from studies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
that time in better way. My hobby is to play football in free time as I am champion in my previous school. I am
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
intrested
in cooking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
my food in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way. I prefer making
Possible spelling mistake found.
dises
with experiment. Every one should
Possible spelling mistake found.
persue
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
hobbies and interests what ever they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a request to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
me detail information about all the facilities which
are provided
by the university in clubs and societies as
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to become a member to one of those. You can email me these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
on my email id-
Possible spelling mistake found.
jyotidahiya@yahoo
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
com
. I look forward for your reply. Your
Possible spelling mistake found.
sinceraly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jyoti
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Dahiya
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IELTS letter You are a foreign student. You want to join a club or society so that you can enjoy your time when you study there. write to the student union manager. introduce yourself. Write about your hobbies and interests. Ask for information about clubs and societies.

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
161 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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