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The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Parkville Daily newspaper."Throughout the country last year, as more and more children below the age of nine participated in youth-league sports, over 40,000 of these young players suffered injuries.

The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Parkville Daily newspaper. " Throughout the country last year, as more and more children below the age of nine participated in youth-league sports, over 40, 000 of these young players suffered injuries. 0ABK5
While it may seem that Parkville should distounce organizing youth league sports for children under nine as its disadvantages outweighs disadvantages. But there is lot of weaknesses in the argument. It is stated that over 40, 000 young players suffered injuries, but total number of young players who took part in youth-league sports is not mentioned. As total number of players is not mentioned, it can not be determined what percentage of childrens suffered injuries. Total enrolement in competition can be anywhere from thousands to millions of players. Furthermore, 40000 players means injury to a very small proportion of total players. Seriousness of these injuries is never mentioned, maybe these injuries are innocous and are similar to small injuries childrens suffers regularly due to playing. Moreover, Youth league soccer reported psychological pressures exerted by parents and coaches but it is not asked to the childrens, how they have handled these pressure situations. Pressure situations like these might help childrens to cope better with pressure in in tense situation like exams. These situations will help childrens to prepare for higher level of sports under 12 or under 14 championship. Education experts say that long practise sessions for these sports take away time that can be used for academic activities. It is not mentioned when this competition takes place. Most of the athletic competition held in summer holidays where childrens has ample time for extra-curriculum activities. Maybe competition takes place at acamdic season time, but still childrens spend lot of time
While it may seem that
Possible spelling mistake found.
Parkville
should
Possible spelling mistake found.
distounce
organizing youth league
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
under nine as its disadvantages outweighs disadvantages.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there is
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
weaknesses in the argument.

It
is stated
that over 40, 000 young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
suffered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injuries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
number of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in youth-league
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mentioned
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mentioned
, it can not
be determined
what percentage of
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
suffered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injuries
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Total
Possible spelling mistake found.
enrolement
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
can be anywhere from thousands to millions of players.

Furthermore
, 40000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injury
to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
. Seriousness of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injuries
is never
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mentioned
, maybe these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injuries
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
innocous
and are similar to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injuries
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
suffers
regularly
due to playing.

Moreover
, Youth league soccer reported psychological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressures
exerted by parents and coaches
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not
This is a collocation error. You do not need a preposition after 'asked'. Remove it: "asked".
asked to
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
, how they have handled these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pressure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
like these might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
to cope better with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
Possible typo: you repeated a word
in in
tense
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
like exams. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
to prepare for higher level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
under 12 or under 14 championship.

Education experts say that long
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
sessions for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
take away
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for academic activities. It is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mentioned
when this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
takes place. Most of the athletic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
held in summer holidays where
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
has ample
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for extra-curriculum activities. Maybe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
takes place at
Possible spelling mistake found.
acamdic
season
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
spend
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
time
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IELTS letter The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Parkville Daily newspaper. " Throughout the country last year, as more and more children below the age of nine participated in youth-league sports, over 40, 000 of these young players suffered injuries.

Letter
  American English
5 paragraphs
248 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Parkville Daily newspaper."Throughout the country last year, as more and more children below the age of nine participated in youth-league sports, over 40,000 of these young players suffered injuries.