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describe your leisure time and give your opinion about having too much leisure time

describe your leisure time and give your opinion about having too much leisure time e5AVV
Hello everyone! I am a beginner in Ielts and I hope all members in the group help me to improve four skills in English. Today, I would like to tell you about my leisure time. Leisure time is very necessary for many people in the world after stressful work and study. There are many ways to entertain such as: listening to music, reading book, cooking some dishes you like, going to the countryside and visiting relatives, going out with friends. . . In my spare time, I usually listen to music and I can say that it is my favourite leisure activities. I began listen to music when I was 12 years old, I like listening to english music because there are many benefits. Everyday, I spend two to five minutes listening to English music and it helps me to learn a lot of vocabulary. I often listen some songs such as: The spectre, On my way, All falls down. . . The other reason why that I love listening to music is that it makes me feel relax and happy after studying hard. I prefer to stay at home than go out in the evening because I can do a lot of things when I stay at home such as: doing DIY, drawing pictures with mt sister. . Technology is developing day by day so many young people usually stay at home and play game online, chat with their friends in Facebook. Lifestyle nowaday is more modern than in the past so many people spend time enjoying new technology but I still enjoy going to the countryside and remind my childhood, I feel very happy and peaceful. In my view point, there are positive side and negative about having leisure time. Let's begin by looking at advantages. Firstly, having leisure time helps people relax and feel happy. Secondly, when they play game online in computer- it is the play where thay can reveal the personality in the virtual world. On the other hand, having much leisure time come withthe string of bad points such as: boredom, anxienty even depression. It can lead to bad behaviour, lack of focus as well as disapline. I wish I would return to my childhood and have fun and healthy as kids now.
Hello everyone! I am a beginner in
Ielts
and I hope all members in the group
help
me to
improve
four
skills
in English.

Today
, I would like to
tell
you about my
leisure
time
.
Leisure
time
is
very
necessary for
many
people
in the world after stressful work and study. There are
many
ways to entertain such as: listening to
music
, reading book, cooking
some
dishes you like, going to the countryside and visiting relatives, going out with friends.
.
.
In my spare
time
, I
usually
listen to
music
and I can say that it is my
favourite
leisure
activities. I began listen to
music
when I was 12 years
old
, I like listening to
english
music
because
there are
many
benefits.
Everyday
, I spend two to five minutes listening to English
music
and it
helps
me to learn
a lot of
vocabulary. I
often
listen
some
songs such as: The
spectre
, On my way, All falls down.
.
.
The other reason why that I
love
listening to
music
is that it
makes
me feel relax and happy after studying
hard
. I prefer to stay at home than go out in the evening
because
I can do
a lot of
things when I stay at home such as: doing DIY, drawing pictures with mt sister.
.
Technology is developing day by day
so
many
young
people
usually
stay at home and play game online, chat with their friends
in Facebook
. Lifestyle
nowaday
is more modern than in the past
so
many
people
spend
time
enjoying new technology
but
I
still
enjoy going to the countryside and remind my childhood, I feel
very
happy and peaceful. In my view point, there are
positive
side and
negative
about having
leisure
time
.
Let
's
begin
by looking at advantages.
Firstly
, having
leisure
time
helps
people
relax and feel happy.
Secondly
, when they play game online in computer- it is the play where
thay
can reveal the personality in the virtual world.

On the other hand
, having much
leisure
time
come
withthe
string of
bad
points such as: boredom,
anxienty
even depression. It can lead to
bad
behaviour
, lack of focus
as well
as
disapline
. I wish I would return to my childhood and have fun and healthy as kids
now
.
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IELTS letter describe your leisure time and give your opinion about having too much leisure time

Letter
  American English
3 paragraphs
379 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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