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A recent article in the Young post suggested that an 8am start to the school day makes students feel tired and sleepy. write to the editor of the Young post expressing your views on the following:

A recent article in the Young post suggested that an 8am start to the school day makes students feel tired and sleepy. write to the editor of the Young post expressing your views on the following: 6b23
Dear Editor, Recently, I have read an article in the Young Post that students should start their school class every day at 8 am. However, it may make the students feel tired and sleepy if they go back to school early. Firstly, many students may not wake up so early like at 7 am and also they need to spend time washing and eating breakfast every morning. In addition, some students who live a bit far away from school may need to take longer to the school by public transports such as bus and train. Therefore, they will feel so tired and sleepy if they need to arrive at school early like at 8 am to go back to school. Another reason is that some students who may need to struggle with their homework and also prepare for tests and exams every night cannot sleep enough to go back to school every morning at 8 am. If they do not have enough time to sleep well before going to school early, not only they will feel tired but also sick. Although some students who may skip breakfast can wake up early they need to catch time to go back to school, they may not have enough energy and spirits to attend the class and it may seriously affect their health. Finally, the school principals should be advised to change the school opening time from 8 am to 9 am based on the above reasons. Indeed, opening school time at 8 am is a bit early for the students. Should they consider making the time be flexible like at 9 am for the students, especially some of them who are living so far from school? Finally, I hope that you will agree with my suggestions and I am looking forward to hearing your reply soon. Yours faithfully, Newton
Dear Editor,

Recently, I have read an article in the Young Post that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
every day at 8 am.
However
, it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
feel tired and sleepy if they go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
back
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
early.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may not wake up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
like at 7 am and
also
they
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need
to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
washing and eating breakfast every morning.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a bit far away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to take longer to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
by public transports such as bus and train.
Therefore
, they will feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
tired and sleepy if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to arrive at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
like at 8 am to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
back
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Another reason is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to struggle with their homework and
also
prepare for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
and exams every night cannot sleep
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
back
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
every morning at 8 am. If they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to sleep well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going to
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school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
they will feel tired
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
sick. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
may skip breakfast can wake up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to catch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
back
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, they may not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
energy and spirits to attend the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and it may
seriously
affect their health.

Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
principals should
be advised
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
opening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
from 8 am to 9
am based
on the above reasons.

Indeed
, opening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at 8 am is a bit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Should they consider making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
be flexible like at 9 am for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
especially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are living
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
?
Finally
, I hope that you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with my
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
suggestions and
I am looking forward to hearing your reply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
faithfully
,

Newton
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IELTS letter A recent article in the Young post suggested that an 8am start to the school day makes students feel tired and sleepy. write to the editor of the Young post expressing your views on the following:

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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