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Youngsters are using more social media these days. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the youngsters?

Youngsters are using more social media these days. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the youngsters? Y2PV5
In the era of contemporary life, the development of social networking sites has become an issue of broad interest to people from all strata. It seems to be an increasingly widespread phenomenon that nowsadays, teenagers tend to spend much their time on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. To the best of my knowledge, this offers many advantages, while there are also some disadvantages, which are worth considering. On the one hand, there are two major benefits to teenagers who are using social publishing applications. Firstly, thanks to the advent of social media, adolescents can acquire knowledge from the internet, which is an abundant source of information, they can broaden their horizons of other areas. For example, a student can learn how to play music instruments through You Tube or studying maths with some software recorded tutorials by prestigious teachers. Secondly, teenagers can keep in touch with their families or friends on platforms such as Zalo, Viber and Messenger, who live far from them or study abroad. Consequently, they may not feel homesick. On the other hand, various drawbacks may be noted. For one thing, internet like a two-edged sword, it is besieged by many toxic contents related to violence and sex. This mental poisons have been seriously corrupting adolescent’s innocent minds and influencing their mental, lead them to go astray. For another disadvantage, spending much time just surfing the internet, juveniles may lose their focus from studies. They keep checking their social platform pages and having conversations with their friends. Therefore, it can impact their future career. In conclusion, it is a good chance to boost knowledge and entertain themselves. However, long time usage will bring many disadvantage. Therefore, people should see the pros and cons of social media before using it.
In the era of contemporary life, the development of
social
networking sites has become an issue of broad interest to
people
from all strata. It seems to be an
increasingly
widespread phenomenon that
nowsadays
,
teenagers
tend to spend much their time on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. To the best of my knowledge, this offers
many
advantages, while there are
also
some
disadvantages, which are worth considering. On the one hand, there are two major benefits to
teenagers
who are using
social
publishing applications.
Firstly
, thanks to the advent of
social
media, adolescents can acquire knowledge from the internet, which is an abundant source of information, they can broaden their horizons of other areas.
For example
, a student can learn how to play music instruments through
You Tube
or studying
maths
with
some
software recorded tutorials by prestigious teachers.
Secondly
,
teenagers
can
keep
in touch with their families or friends on platforms such as
Zalo
,
Viber
and Messenger, who
live
far from them or study abroad.
Consequently
, they may not feel homesick.
On the other hand
, various drawbacks may
be noted
. For one thing, internet like a two-edged sword, it
is besieged
by
many
toxic contents related to violence and sex. This mental poisons have been
seriously
corrupting adolescent’s innocent minds and influencing their mental, lead them to go astray. For another disadvantage, spending much time
just
surfing the internet, juveniles may lose their focus from studies. They
keep
checking their
social
platform pages and having conversations with their friends.
Therefore
, it can impact their future career.
In conclusion
, it is a
good
chance to boost knowledge and entertain themselves.
However
, long time usage will bring
many disadvantage
.
Therefore
,
people
should
see
the pros and cons of
social
media
before
using it.
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IELTS essay Youngsters are using more social media these days. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the youngsters?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
291 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
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  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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