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Younger people are becoming less polite. Causes and solutions

Younger people are becoming less polite. Causes and solutions pLR7d
In modern days, adolescents not only learn from their surroundings but also various sources that affect their upbringing. People often debate younger generations contain fewer etiquette than ever. This essay explores the reasons for the disrespectful behave of young people and suggests some plausible way to diminish it. Today, young generations carrying the burden of expectations more than their predecessor. To explain, students feel pressure to score higher marks to satisfy their parents or to secure admission in a reputed college for higher education. After completing studies, even talented and bright students wander for employment or not be able to get a job. However, if they get a job, they may get an underpaid salary, which kills the enthusiasm and inspiration. These reasons make them frustrated and aggressive. Furthermore, violent video games and television series diminish politeness in the attribute of young people. For example, if one indulges in video games, one will pick up cruel behavior same as programmed in the games. Hence, adolescents lack basic social skills. Various steps can improve the behavior of young people. First, students should be encouraged to participate in yoga which will help to achieve concentration and calmness. To illustrate, one who practices yoga behaves politely than others who do not engage in any type of physical exercise. In addition, participation in sports will also improve the physical and mental abilities of students. In conclusion, yoga, and participation in sports improve the way of behaving among younger generations.
In modern days, adolescents not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
learn from their surroundings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
various sources that affect their upbringing.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
debate younger generations contain
Did you mean "less etiquette"?
fewer etiquette
than ever. This essay explores the reasons for the disrespectful behave of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and suggests
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
plausible way to diminish it.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generations carrying the burden of expectations more than their predecessor. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, students feel pressure to score higher marks to satisfy their parents or to secure admission in a reputed college for higher education. After completing studies, even talented and bright students wander for employment or not be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job.
However
, if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job, they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an underpaid salary, which kills the enthusiasm and inspiration. These reasons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them frustrated and aggressive.
Furthermore
, violent video games and television series diminish politeness in the attribute of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, if one indulges in video games, one will pick up cruel behavior same as programmed in the games.
Hence
, adolescents lack basic social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Various steps can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the behavior of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
First
, students should
be encouraged
to participate in yoga which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to achieve concentration and calmness. To illustrate, one who practices yoga behaves
Use "(politely)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
politely
than others who do not engage in any type of physical exercise.
In addition
, participation in sports will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the physical and mental abilities of students.

In conclusion
, yoga, and participation in sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the way of behaving among younger generations.
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IELTS essay Younger people are becoming less polite. Causes and solutions

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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