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young people today are better at making decisions about their own lives than they were in the past.

young people today are better at making decisions about their own lives than they were in the past. KwqLL
Since the beginning of the current century, the concept of how young people control their life has been brought to public attention. Some people believe that youngsters nowadays could not make decisions by themselves; however, there is a substantial body of evidence that casts doubts on this belief. From a personal perspective, youth today are more independent and could make decisions better than they were in the past given that they are more educated, experienced and responsible. The first and the foremost point, recently, education has improved drastically, which has crucial virtues on young people's personalities. A vivid example that could be given to shed light on that is public schools in California now teach their students ideas and concepts rather than facts, which give students a chance to explore topics and integrate information. Provided that students are actively participating in a class, they could enhance their imagination and promote their creativity. Consequently, proper education helps young people to think rationally, which is essential to make optimal decisions. Next, coupled with education, experience is another reason why adults toady could make decisions alone. Life today has become very technologically advanced, which has a considerable influence on young people. For example, high school students use searching websites, such as Google and YouTube, to make decisions about their future careers. To put it in another way, the internet invention maximizes young people's fundamental knowledge and augments their experience about the jobs they want to occupy in the future. Therefore, today young people could make proper decisions about their careers. Ultimately, responsibility is another subtle point that should be born on mind. Young people are more responsible today than they were in the past. For instance, youth in developed countries, such as Canada and the United States, take loans from banks to admit to a college, so they have to work part-time jobs during summer to earn money for their tuition fees and all other college-related costs. Although that could put them under severe pressure, it helps them to take responsibility. In another word, participating early in practical life could boot students' intelligible capacity and help them to make their own decisions. Taking everything into consideration; without a doubt, young people today are better at making decisions about their own lives than they were in the past. It is suggested that schools design learning activities that improve their students' ability to make decisions.
Since the beginning of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
century, the concept of how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
control their life has
been brought
to public attention.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that youngsters nowadays could not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
by themselves;
however
, there is a substantial body of evidence that casts doubts on this belief. From a personal perspective, youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
are more independent and could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
better than they were in the past
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
that they are more educated, experienced and responsible.

The
first
and the foremost point, recently, education has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
drastically
, which has crucial virtues on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's personalities. A vivid example that could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to shed light on
that is
public schools in California
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and concepts
rather
than facts, which give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
a chance to explore topics and integrate information. Provided that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
actively
participating in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, they could enhance their imagination and promote their creativity.
Consequently
, proper education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
rationally
, which is essential to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
optimal decisions.

Next
, coupled with education, experience is another reason why adults toady could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
alone. Life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
technologically
advanced, which has a considerable influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, high school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
searching websites, such as Google and YouTube, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
about their future careers. To put it in another way, the internet invention maximizes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's fundamental knowledge and augments their experience about the jobs they want to occupy in the future.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
about their careers.

Ultimately
, responsibility is another subtle point that should
be born
on mind.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more responsible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
than they were in the past.
For instance
, youth in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
, such as Canada and the United States, take loans from banks to admit to a college,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work part-time jobs during summer to earn money for their tuition fees and all other college-related costs. Although that could put them under severe pressure, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to take responsibility. In another word, participating early in practical life could boot students' intelligible capacity and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions.

Taking everything into consideration; without a doubt,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
are better at making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
than they were in the past. It
is suggested
that schools design learning activities that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their students' ability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
.
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IELTS essay young people today are better at making decisions about their own lives than they were in the past.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
400 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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