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Young people often have ideas or attributes that are different to those of their parents?

Young people often have ideas or attributes that are different to those of their parents? AjwkM
Youngsters have a different mindset and thoughts compared to their elders in the family. In my opinion, I agree on the point, as with the new technology and changes in the environment a younger one will have totally different a newer ideas and even they see the world from a different view point compare to their grandparents. This is because of the generation gap. Till late 80's there were not much availability of computers and mobile devices, but today's lives are totally dependent on these devices and young people are always relying on them for any problem they face in their lives. Just take an example of shopping of a television at home, the young one will encourage to go for e-shopping and want to get rid of all the hassles. Whereas Older people at home will like to go to shop personally and pick the best available model. But these different ideas and attitudes to create a lot of problems in normal homes where many a times it is seen that the younger generation disrespect the old one. In conclusion, different mindset is good as it gives different perspective to any solution, but we should also respect the idea of other generation.
Youngsters have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
mindset and thoughts compared to their elders in the family. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
on the point, as with the new technology and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the environment a younger one will have
totally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
a newer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and even they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the world from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
view point compare to their grandparents.

This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the generation gap. Till late
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "80s".
80's
there were not much availability of computers and mobile devices,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
are
totally
dependent on these devices and young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are always relying on them for any problem they face in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
take an example of shopping of a television at home, the young one will encourage
Did you mean "going"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'encourage' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to go
for e-shopping and want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of all the hassles. Whereas Older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
at home will like to go to shop
personally
and pick the best available model.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and attitudes to create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
problems in normal homes where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a time" or simply "times"?
a times
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the younger generation disrespect the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
one.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
mindset is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
as it gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
perspective to any solution,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we should
also
respect the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of other generation.

IELTS essay Young people often have ideas or attributes that are different to those of their parents?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
203 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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