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some people believe that university should work part time job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people believe that university should work part time job. XGqWr
Nowadays, working part-time jobs while studying has become a necessity for many students. Although, some people argued that a part-time job may harm studies. In this essay, I would like to discuss the pros and cons to students taking up part-time jobs during their studying. The good advantage is about working part-time during high school, college and university are not only earn extra pocket money to pay daily expense but also it is a crucial opportunity which you can have hand-on experience and gain working skills day by day that to assist students for the real working world. Besides, students will be excel at multitasking as the found the time to work and study simultaneously. For instance, if students who are international and job seeker, they will be given some expericene at working environment such as culture, lifestyle, language and so on from foreign country Moreover, a part-time job is rewarding to help students be responsible for their schedules, finance, and duties. Every work environment brings students to meet new people. That's why students who can gain independence, even getting more high powered in their career. One of the ineffective sides, working part-time while studying is certainly lack of time. Students indeed reject school activities and their colleagues because there is no time to have fun so students will be dead-tired to put offload on their shoulders. It's even students are down and out in terms of exams and ruin their career prospects. Additionaly, one more negative thing is that students only see having wages without degrees is the best way more than focus on studying. Although, a variety of people's example who are success enterprise. It's better in case of specialty. After a discussion of both sides. It can be concluded that students need to be confident in your time management and organized skills to ensure their education. It will also depend on individual responsibility for working part-time while studying.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
has become a necessity for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argued that a part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
may harm studies. In this essay, I would like to discuss the pros and cons to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
taking up part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
during their studying.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
advantage is about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
part-time during high school, college and university are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
earn extra pocket money to pay daily expense
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it is a crucial opportunity which you can have hand-on experience and gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "skills'" or "skill's"?
skills
day by day that to assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
world.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will be
Consider using the past participle "excelled"?
excel
at multitasking as the found the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to work and study
simultaneously
.
For instance
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are international and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
seeker, they will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
expericene
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
environment such as culture, lifestyle, language and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on from foreign
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
country


Moreover
, a part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is rewarding to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
be responsible for their schedules, finance, and duties. Every work environment brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. That's why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who can gain independence, even getting more
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
high powered
in their career.

One of the ineffective sides,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
part-time while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
is
certainly
lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
indeed
reject school activities and their colleagues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to have fun
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will be dead-tired to put offload on their shoulders. It's even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
'down and out' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "down-and-out".
down and out
in terms of exams and ruin their career prospects.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Additionaly
, one more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
thing is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
having wages without degrees is the best way more than focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, a variety of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's example who are success enterprise. It's better in case of specialty.

“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
a discussion of both sides. It can
be concluded
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need to be confident in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management and organized
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to ensure their education. It will
also
depend on individual responsibility for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
part-time while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
.
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IELTS essay some people believe that university should work part time job.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
321 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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