Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Young adults should live with their parents do you agree or disagree

Young adults should live with their parents PVnnd
In my vantage point, I reckon that young adults should live independantly from their parents as soon as possible. In the ensuing lines, I will elabroate on this on the most cogent grounds. Firstly, it instills in them the sense of independance. living separetly away from their parents, alerts their attention to the new reality which is, you, from now on, are fully responsible for yourself and your life as a whole. And as such, they intuitively realize that they have to strive in order to be productive and achieve their own set-out goals, which is the key impetus of success. a prime example on this is, the Egyptian billionaire business man, Enan Elgalaly. Contrary to the most Egyptian counterparts of his, he moved away from his family at a young age and immigrated to Denemark where he started from scratch working hard and accomplishing a pinacole after the other till he became one of the most, if not the most, successful businessmen the Egyptian history has come accross ever. This, thus, true to life example shows firsthand how effective staying away from father and mother is on creating productive individuals from the young adults as a result of building up the trait of being self-made. On the top of this, it braodens their horizons. This happens courtesy of encountering hardships and troubled times which is likely to drive them to make mistakes while trying to turn around them on their own without help fron their family. Hence, these errors turn into life experiences they capitalize on afterwards the rest of their lives. This is really exemplified on by me. I left my family when I was 18, and needless to say that I had been bombabarded with difficulies that I had learnt a lot from in light of the trial and errors technique. Therefore, I ended up becomming a respectably highly educated pharmacist all my community looks up to. This indicates how productive is depending one on themselves dealing with their issues on their lives. Moreover, inspite of being conceptualized as risky specifically when it comes to their religious principlas and morals, it is falacious. Given that parents play their crucially impportaning parenting role from the get go of their children. So, no need for parents now as those adolescants are not immature kids anymore. To conclude, I believe that young individuals should leave their family home sooner than later in light of the aforementioned arguments.
In my vantage point, I reckon that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
Possible spelling mistake found.
independantly
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible. In the ensuing lines, I will
Possible spelling mistake found.
elabroate
on this on the most cogent grounds.

Firstly
, it instills in them the sense of
Possible spelling mistake found.
independance
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
living
Possible spelling mistake found.
separetly
away from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, alerts their attention to the new reality which is, you, from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
on, are
fully
responsible for yourself and your life as a whole. And as such, they
intuitively
realize that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
strive in order to be productive and achieve their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
set-out goals, which is the key impetus of success.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
a
prime example on this is, the Egyptian billionaire business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Enan
Possible spelling mistake found.
Elgalaly
. Contrary to the most Egyptian counterparts of his, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
away from his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
age and immigrated to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Denemark
where he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from scratch working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and accomplishing a
Possible spelling mistake found.
pinacole
after the other till he became one of the most, if not the most, successful businessmen the Egyptian history has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
Possible spelling mistake found.
accross
ever. This,
thus
, true to life example
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
firsthand how effective staying away from father and mother is on creating productive individuals from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults
as a result
of building up the trait of being self-made.

On the top of this, it
Possible spelling mistake found.
braodens
their horizons. This happens courtesy of encountering hardships and troubled times which is likely to drive them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mistakes while trying to turn around them on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
Possible spelling mistake found.
fron their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Hence
, these errors turn into life experiences they capitalize on afterwards the rest of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This is
really
exemplified on by me. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
when I was 18, and needless to say that I had been
Possible spelling mistake found.
bombabarded
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
difficulies
that I had
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
a lot from in light of the trial and errors technique.
Therefore
, I ended up
Possible spelling mistake found.
becomming
a
respectably
highly
educated pharmacist all my community looks up to. This indicates how productive
The verb 'depending' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
is depending
one on themselves dealing with their issues on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Moreover
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
inspite
of
being conceptualized
as risky
specifically
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to their religious
Possible spelling mistake found.
principlas
and morals, it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
falacious
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
play their
crucially
Possible spelling mistake found.
impportaning
parenting role from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
go of their children.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, no need for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
as those
Possible spelling mistake found.
adolescants
are not immature kids anymore.

To conclude
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
individuals should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
home sooner than later in light of the aforementioned arguments.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Young adults should live with their parents

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
407 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    universal risk taking personalities
    The reading and the lecture are both about “universal risk-taking personalities”. According to the reading people with this type of personality injure themselves with no reason and their behaviors must be considered illogical and in extreme forms pathological. However, the lecture challenges all the...
  • 6band
    The reading and the lecture are both about eco-tourism.
    The reading and the lecture are both about eco-tourism. The author of the reading feels that there are three main reasons why green tourism is a good development. However, the lecturer disagrees and explains why those ideas made by the author in the article are faulty. To begin with, the writer arg...
  • 6band
    Nowadays, it is very common seeing advertising everywhere about language courses and knowing someone who is learning a new language.
    Nowadays, it is very common seeing advertising everywhere about language courses and knowing someone who is learning a new language. There is a fraise very popular which says that knowing another language opens many doors. I think learning Spanish would be a good decision for three main reasons. I w...
  • 6band
    The reading and the lecture are both about the attribution of the comic’s origin to The United States and how it has or has not influenced other countries.
    The reading and the lecture are both about the attribution of the comic’s origin to The United States and how it has or has not influenced other countries. The author of the reading believes that comics are pure American art. The lecturer casts doubt on the claims made in the article. He says that “...
  • 6band
    Why Pucón is the best place to visit in any time of the year
    Pucón is a small town located in the south of Chile, more exactly in the Araucanía Region near to the border with Argentina. Situated close to The Andes, Pucón is surrounded by huge forest mountains where near the top you can start seeing the millenary trees known as Araucaria. The city is located n...
  • 6band
    coal industry
    While the passage provide solutions to reduce the pollution caused by coal industry, the lecturer discloses information that suggests that the solutions provided in the passage are not worthy enough implementing. Firstly, combustion of coal is a major contributor of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere...





Get more results for topic:
  • Young adults should live with their parents do you agree or disagree