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Write your answer to the topic below: "In many countries around the world, life expectancy is increasing. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your own opinion."

Write your answer to the topic below: "In many countries around the world, life expectancy is increasing. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your own opinion. " PXbnw
In most developed countries, there is a popular problem that the life expectancy is growing each year. It has both advantages and disadvantages about finance or society. Both sides of the argument will be discussed in this essay. Firstly, there are many services for old people such as nursing, helping them to do daily activities or talking with them when their children have to work and they cannot do it by themselves. Therefore, companies which provide these services can earn a lot of money and contribute to the economy. In addition, one of the biggest benefits of the growth of life expectancy is the quality of medical services can be improved better. Hospitals have to develop the quality of medical equipment and expand area to receive more patients. The improvement of health is crucial and it also enhances life not only for old people. On the other hand, this problem contains some disadvantages. One of the drawbacks is not all people have enough condition to apply these services, they could be poor or homeless people. Government has to take care of them, help them to remain in their life and spend money on them. If the number of elderly people rises significantly, the shortage of finance will become seriously. The increasing life expectancy is synonymous with the number of young people who are the main employees in the future decreases. The lack of worker in the future is a challenge that is difficult for the government to manage. In conclusion, the growth of life expectancy can contribute to the finance of the countries but also impact on it and cause hard problems for the government.
In most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
, there is a popular problem that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy is growing each year. It has both advantages and disadvantages about finance or society. Both sides of the argument will
be discussed
in this essay.

Firstly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as nursing, helping them to do daily activities or talking with them when their children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
work and
they cannot do it by themselves.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
which provide these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
can earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money and contribute to the economy.
In addition
, one of the biggest benefits of the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy is the quality of medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
better. Hospitals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
develop the quality of medical equipment and expand area to receive more patients. The improvement of health is crucial and it
also
enhances
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the other hand
, this problem contains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages. One of the drawbacks is not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
condition to apply these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
, they could be poor or homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
take care of them,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to remain in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and spend money on them. If the number of elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rises
significantly
, the shortage of finance will become
seriously
. The increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy is synonymous with the number of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are the main employees in the future decreases. The lack of worker in the future is a challenge
that is
difficult for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to manage.

In conclusion
, the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy can contribute to the finance of the countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
impact on it and cause
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
problems for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
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IELTS essay Write your answer to the topic below: "In many countries around the world, life expectancy is increasing. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your own opinion. "

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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