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Would you choose a large university or a small university?

Would you choose a large university or a small university? qVQ1E
For most students, entering to a university is exciting, especially the famous one that they are fascinated to get in. Some may choose a small college so that they will be able to have closer attentions from professors. However, I would prefer a large university for the following advantages. First, large universities offer variety of courses. Students can easily choose other optional classes and expand their academic knowledge. For example, Khon Kean University Thailand has more than ten academic departments, such as Medicine, Pharmacy, Engineering, Finance, Accountant etc. While I was pursuing a pharmacy degree there, I also took Computer, English, and Chinese classes for my own interest during summer. This made my resume more attractive when I applied for a job after graduation. However, if I had studied in a small university, I would have limited and missed this important opportunity. Second, large universities provide more facilities. Because there are many academic departments in one big place, more facilities are needed. For example, I went to other libraries when I wanted to change new studying atmospheres such as at Engineering library that had a lot of engineering students there. Likewise, when I felt bored of eating the same menu in the Pharmacy cafeteria, I often went to eat at others such as at the Finance cafeteria. Moreover, there were plenty of exercising choices I could choose; gym, swimming, playing tennis, dancing etc. My big university offered sufficient facilities and activities for its students and faculty members. Finally, students are likely to have more connections studying in a large university. For example, only one year that I lived with my roommate majoring in Finance and she taught me how to invest in stock market. However, I still keep in touch with her and our relationship is still good till these days. In addition, there were many restaurants in the campus that students can hang out after class or in evenings. This helps students to meet more friends who have different interests and majors from themselves. In conclusion, in considering of choosing a small or a large university, I have explored the significant benefits of the later, which may not persuasive to all, I think a large university is better.
For most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, entering to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is exciting,
especially
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
one that they
are fascinated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
may
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "chooses".
choose
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
college
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they will be able to have closer attentions from professors.
However
, I would prefer a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
for the following advantages.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
offer variety of courses.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
can
easily
choose other optional classes and expand their academic knowledge.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Khon
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
Thailand has more than ten academic departments, such as Medicine, Pharmacy, Engineering, Finance, Accountant etc. While I was pursuing a pharmacy degree there, I
also
took Computer, English, and Chinese classes for my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
interest during summer. This made my resume more attractive when I applied for a job after graduation.
However
, if I had studied in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, I would have limited and missed this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
opportunity.

Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
provide more facilities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
academic departments in one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
place, more facilities
are needed
.
For example
, I went to other libraries when I wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
new studying atmospheres such as at Engineering library that had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
engineering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
there.
Likewise
, when I felt
In standard English it's more accepted to use "bored with" or "bored by".
bored of
eating the same menu in the Pharmacy cafeteria, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
went to eat at others such as at the Finance cafeteria.
Moreover
, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of exercising choices I could choose; gym, swimming, playing tennis, dancing etc. My
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
offered sufficient facilities and activities for its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and faculty members.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are likely to have more connections studying in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one year that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
with my roommate majoring in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Finance and
she taught me how to invest in stock market.
However
, I
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with her and our relationship is
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
till these days.
In addition
, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
restaurants in the campus that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can hang out after
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
or in evenings. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
more friends who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
interests and majors from themselves.

In conclusion
, in considering of choosing a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, I have explored the significant benefits of the
Did you mean "latter" (=the second of two items)?
later
, which may not persuasive to all, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is better.
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IELTS essay Would you choose a large university or a small university?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
369 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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