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Workers in the small town of Leeville take fewer sick days than workers in the large city of Masonton, 50 miles away. Moreover, relative to population size, the diagnosis of stress-related illness is proportionally much lower in Leeville than in Masonton.

Workers in the small town of Leeville take fewer sick days than workers in the large city of Masonton, 50 miles away. Moreover, relative to population size, the diagnosis of stress-related illness is proportionally much lower in Leeville than in Masonton. doD8o
In this passage, we are informed that Leeville has better health status than Masonton with larger size. Referring to both sick leave status and illness diagnosis statistic, the author ascribes both of two phenomena to the health benefits out of the realtively relaxed pace of life in Leeville. Quite reasonable though such explanation appears at first glance, we can not safely claim that it is the unique one that accounts for the facts presented in the argument. Therefore, we should consider the following explanations, which could rival with the one proposed in the passage. To start off, the author attributes fewer sick leave to Leeville's superior health status. While people might apply for fewer sick leave as their robust health status, the latter could have sprung from other reasons as well. First of all, it is likely that their companies don't allow them to apply more sick leave or only reserve very limited days for their sick leave in a year. If this is the case, fewer sick leave have little bearing on people's overall health status in Leeville. Consequently, it could be explained as stemming from more strict company's regulation for sick leave or less sick leave allowances. Second, while fewer sick leave might be caused by health status, the health status could not be exclusively attributable to fewer sick leave in practice. Instead, it is of equal likelihood that people in Leeville are enthusiastic for their work and therefore they don't like to apply for leave even with malaise. Once the assertion that people's crazy work attitude proves warranted, the author's underlying logic will be weakened, namely: fewer sick leave in Leeville reflects the fact that people in Leeville have better health status than Masonton. Furthermore, the less stress-related illness could lend great support to the author's explanation that people in Leeville has been psychological status. However, such outgrowth could be considered not only from better sanity of villagers in Leeville, but also presumably from other explanations as well. One possible reason is that Leeville has much less population than Masonton. Moreover, an alternative account might be that majority of Leevilles have other illness, such as chronic disease, rather than stress-related illness. Without additional investigation, we can not decide which explanation could finally lead to the result of less stress-related illness. It is even likely that all of these aforementioned reasons have conspired to such phenomenon. Last but not least, while we can admit for a moment that people in Leeville has better corporeal and ethereal status, it is reckless to claim that it is totally determined by the relax pace of life in Leeville. Other explanations could readily compete with the one alleged in the argument. For example, an agreeable environment of town or city could determine how people feel living in there and contributed to their health status. In addition, if government there actually practice a stringent social regulation for residents there, such strict policy might impact residents' mental status, which lead to the worse result of their health report. If any of these reasons could be demonstrated sufficiently, the author's reason about relaxed pace of life in Leeville will be weakened. Otherwise, we can trust the author's reasoning about the cause of these facts. To draw a conclusion, while pace of life have exerted great influence on people's health status and their illness and work status, in the absence of sufficient information, we can not establish a casual relationship between it and the facts mentioned above. The distinction between Leeville and Masonton in statistics about sick leave and illness diagnosis is such a case for which we should consider more explanations that could account for the facts presented in the argument.
In this passage, we
are informed
that
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Leeville
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
status
than
Possible spelling mistake found.
Masonton
with larger size. Referring to both sick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
status
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illness
diagnosis statistic, the author ascribes both of two phenomena to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
benefits out of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
realtively
relaxed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pace
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Leeville
. Quite reasonable though such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
explanation
appears at
first
glance, we can not
safely
claim that it is the unique one that accounts for the facts presented in the argument.
Therefore
, we should consider the following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
explanations
, which could rival with the one proposed in the passage.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
off, the author attributes fewer sick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Leeville
's superior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
status
. While
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
apply for fewer sick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
as their robust
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
status
, the latter could have sprung from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
as well
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is likely that their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to apply more sick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reserve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
limited days for their sick
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leave
in a year. If this is the case, fewer sick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
bearing on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
status
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Leeville
.
Consequently
, it could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
as stemming from more strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's regulation for sick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
sick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
allowances. Second, while fewer sick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be caused
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
status
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
status
could not be exclusively attributable to fewer sick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
in practice.
Instead
, it is of equal likelihood that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Leeville
are enthusiastic for their work and
therefore
they don't like to apply for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
even with malaise. Once the assertion that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's crazy work attitude proves warranted, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author's
underlying logic will
be weakened
,
namely
: fewer sick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Leeville
reflects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Leeville
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
status
than
Possible spelling mistake found.
Masonton
.

Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illness
could lend great support to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
explanation
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Leeville
has been psychological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
status
.
However
, such outgrowth could
be considered
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
sanity of villagers in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Leeville
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
presumably from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
explanations
as well
. One possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that
Possible spelling mistake found.
Leeville
has much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
population than
Possible spelling mistake found.
Masonton
.
Moreover
, an alternative account
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be that majority of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Leevilles
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illness
, such as chronic disease,
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illness
. Without additional investigation, we can not decide which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
explanation
could
finally
lead to the result of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illness
. It is even likely that all of these aforementioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
have conspired to such phenomenon.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, while we can admit for a moment that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Leeville
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
corporeal and ethereal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
status
, it is reckless to claim that it is
totally
determined by
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'relax' is correct. If 'relax' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the relax
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pace
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Leeville
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
explanations
could
readily
compete with the one alleged in the argument.
For example
, an agreeable environment of town or city could determine how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel living in there and contributed to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
status
.
In addition
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
there actually practice a stringent social regulation for residents there, such strict policy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
impact residents' mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
status
, which lead to the worse result of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
report. If any of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
could
be demonstrated
sufficiently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
about relaxed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pace
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Leeville
will
be weakened
.
Otherwise
, we can trust the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author's
reasoning about the cause of these facts.

To draw a conclusion, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pace
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
have exerted great influence on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
status
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illness
and work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
status
, in the absence of sufficient information, we can not establish a casual relationship between it and the facts mentioned above. The distinction between
Possible spelling mistake found.
Leeville
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Masonton
in statistics about sick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illness
diagnosis is such a case for which we should consider more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
explanations
that could account for the facts presented in the argument.
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IELTS essay Workers in the small town of Leeville take fewer sick days than workers in the large city of Masonton, 50 miles away. Moreover, relative to population size, the diagnosis of stress-related illness is proportionally much lower in Leeville than in Masonton.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
616 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Workers in the small town of Leeville take fewer sick days than workers in the large city of Masonton, 50 miles away. Moreover, relative to population size, the diagnosis of stress-related illness is proportionally much lower in Leeville than in Masonton.