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Women will play an increasingly important role in the workplace of the future To what extent do you agree with the above

Women will play an increasingly important role in the workplace of the future To what extent do you agree with the above RNWdk
Many people believe that women will perform critical role in the future in working life. Up to certain extent I agree with the above statement because in today’s world of women empowerment, women have better exposure to technology and other resources. To begin with, some people argue that even though women have technology at their hands, they do not have body structure or physical stamina to compete against men. Besides, they lack visibility and do not have ambition in their career. Ergo, they overly depend on their counterpart and spend their entire life as slave instead of leader. On the other hand, women have exceptional quality to work under pressure. They are not only trained to handle multiple jobs but also have ability to cross the deadline before the time. Many women today play pivot role to avail financial assistance to their families. Further, they always create strong impression through their work and mostly stick with their employer throughout their career to provide long term visibility to the company. For example, currently many women are leading their respective nations as a elected leader or serving as a president or CEO of the top level organizations. Moreover, women always have extraordinary creative minds and often think beyond convectional methodology. Such curiosity and dedication towards their duties help them to create strong image among colleagues. Besides, sectors like Bio-technology and Information Technology have strong presence of them. Apart from that, there are many women who achieved higher growth and position than men in the same interval of time. For instance, in India almost 35% staffs on Indian Foreign Service are women, which show their strong commitment towards their work. In a nutshell, women have greater role to shape the current century and excluding some poor countries, they already have started to work in this direction.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
will perform critical role in the future in working life. Up to certain extent I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the above statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
empowerment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have better exposure to technology and other resources.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have technology at their hands, they do not have body structure or physical stamina to compete against
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.
Besides
, they lack visibility and do not have ambition in their career. Ergo, they
overly
depend on their counterpart and spend their entire life as slave
instead
of leader.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have exceptional quality to work under pressure. They are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
trained to handle multiple jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
have ability to cross the deadline
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
play pivot role to avail financial assistance to their families.
Further
, they always create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
impression through their work and
mostly
stick with their employer throughout their career to provide long term visibility to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
For example
,
currently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are leading their respective nations as
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
elected leader or serving as a president or CEO of the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
top level
organizations.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
always have extraordinary creative minds and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
beyond convectional methodology. Such curiosity and dedication towards their duties
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
image among colleagues.
Besides
, sectors like Bio-technology and Information Technology have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
presence of them. Apart from that, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
who achieved higher growth and position than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
in the same interval of time.
For instance
, in India almost 35% staffs on Indian Foreign Service are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
commitment towards their work.

In a nutshell,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have greater role to shape the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
century and excluding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
poor countries, they already have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to work in this direction.
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IELTS essay Women will play an increasingly important role in the workplace of the future To what extent do you agree with the above

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
303 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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