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Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. with this statement? xdXo
It is generally believed that women are more reliable in upbringing children rather than men due to the fact that they are the only one who can give emotional support to their child. But, it does not mean that they can not do job simultaneously. In fact, females are considered as multi-taskers. The reason behind it is that they are actually brought up in that way. The essay is going to discuss the reasons behind my opinion along with some relevant examples prior embarking to any plausible conclusion.
It is
generally
believed that women are more reliable in upbringing children
rather
than
men
due to the fact that they are the
only
one who can give emotional support to their child.
But
, it does not mean that they can not do job
simultaneously
. In fact, females
are considered
as
multi-taskers
. The reason behind it is that they are actually brought up in that way. The essay is going to discuss the reasons behind my opinion along with
some
relevant examples prior embarking to any plausible conclusion.
What do you think?
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IELTS essay Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
88 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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