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Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life.

Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. ba6q
Although the care of children has traditionally been the role of women, nowadays, many men have decided to stay at home to raise children while the woman in the family goes to work. However, some people believe that women have a natural ability for childcare and this role should be left to them. I completely disagree with this notion and believe that both parents share responsibility to raise their children. Firstly, both men and women have qualities which are important for upbringing and educating children. The qualities necessary for well upbringing of a child, including financial support, education, teaching good manners, are not gender specific, therefore both parents are capable of raising their children successfully. In fact, by promoting the idea that childcare is a job only for women, children will receive a message which portrays women as carers only. For example, young girls who are taught to believe that the place of the women is at home will not be encouraged to perform well in school subjects which are more male dominant, such as science. Secondly, the role of women in the workplace has changed significantly in the last fifty years. Many women now hold senior or executive level positions in many areas of employment. Women contribute a range of skills to the workplace which are both important and valuable. In my opinion, women should continue to focus on their career and ensure that their daughters are aware of the opportunities which are available to them in life. Men should also take on some responsibility of childcare and should teach their sons this a valuable role in society for men as well as women. In conclusion, it is important that both men and women share childcare duties because both have important qualities and skills. However, women and men should also be allowed to focus on their career and provide a strong role model for their children.
Although the care of
children
has
traditionally
been the
role
of
women
, nowadays,
many
men
have decided to stay at home to raise
children
while the woman in the family goes to work.
However
,
some
people
believe that
women
have a natural ability for childcare and this
role
should be
left
to them. I completely disagree with this notion and believe that both parents share responsibility to raise their children.

Firstly
, both
men
and
women
have qualities which are
important
for upbringing and educating
children
. The qualities necessary for well upbringing of a child, including financial support, education, teaching
good
manners, are not
gender specific
,
therefore
both parents are capable of raising their
children
successfully
. In fact, by promoting the
idea
that childcare is a job
only
for
women
,
children
will receive a message which portrays
women
as carers
only
.
For example
, young girls who
are taught
to believe that the place of the
women
is at home will not
be encouraged
to perform well in school subjects which are more male dominant, such as science.

Secondly
, the
role
of
women
in the workplace has
changed
significantly
in the last fifty years.
Many
women
now
hold senior or executive level positions in
many
areas of employment.
Women
contribute a range of
skills
to the workplace which are both
important
and valuable. In my opinion,
women
should continue to focus on their career and ensure that their daughters are aware of the opportunities which are available to them in life.
Men
should
also
take on
some
responsibility of childcare and should teach their sons this a valuable
role
in society for
men
as well
as women.

In conclusion
, it is
important
that both
men
and
women
share childcare duties
because
both have
important
qualities and
skills
.
However
,
women
and
men
should
also
be
allowed
to focus on their career and provide a strong
role
model for their
children
.
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IELTS essay Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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