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Central and local governments make a frantic attempt to promote festivals to create a lot of revenue. Some people think this money should be invested in social programmes for the poor. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer.

Central and local governments make a frantic attempt to promote festivals to create a lot of revenue. Some people think this money should be invested in social programmes for the poor. with this statement? 9d97
These days the number of people living higher quality of life has increased. Most people are able to afford basic needs and spend lots of money in other activities like tourism and attending festivals. At the same time there are some people who can not even afford a meal in a day. Some people believe the return earned by the government from investing in festivals should be invested for the welfare of the poor. So I do agree with the statement because I believe every citizen has the right to fulfill basic needs such as food, health service and education. Before the industrial revolution, people had to work not for the money but to survive and to fulfill their basic needs. However, these days people work to get paid in the form of money and money can buy everything, people have forgotten the importance of basic needs. For example we except vegetarians eat meat almost everyday but we do not realize how hard it is to cattle animals. Rather we spend our time for extra activities such as entertainment, tourism but we do not realize people below poverty are still fighting to fulfill their basic needs. Furthermore, the government is investing money to organise festivals to earn return from the investment and I believe the government should spends the return from the invested to fulfill the demand of the poor people and to end the poverty for example, in my high school one of my friend drop out from the school and start working in a restaurant to cover the medical expenses of his father. So my point is there are still people who have to sacrifice their desire because of common needs of the society. In conclusion, although festival and tourist attraction programmes have positive aspects, it is important to support the poor and improve their living standard. Without the help of the government it is not possible to end the fight against poverty. So I agree with the statement where the government should bring incentives for the poor from its earnings through such festivals and ceremonies.
These days the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living higher quality of life has increased. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to afford
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
and spend lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in other activities like tourism and attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
. At the same time there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who can not even afford a meal in a day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe the return earned by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
from investing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
should
be invested
for the welfare of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I believe every citizen has the right to fulfill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
such as food, health service and education.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
the industrial revolution,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had to work not for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to survive and to fulfill their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
.
However
, these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
work to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
paid in the form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
everything,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have forgotten the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
.
For example
we except vegetarians eat meat almost everyday
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we do not realize how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
it is to cattle animals.
Rather
we spend our time for extra activities such as entertainment, tourism
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we do not realize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
below poverty are
still
fighting to fulfill their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
needs.

Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is investing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
to earn return from the investment and I believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "spend"
spends
the return from the invested to fulfill the demand of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
the poverty
for example
, in my high school one of my friend drop out from the school and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
working in a restaurant to cover the medical expenses of his father.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
my point is there are
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
sacrifice their desire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of the society.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
and tourist attraction
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their living standard. Without the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
it is not possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
the fight against poverty.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should bring incentives for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
from its earnings through such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
and ceremonies.
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IELTS essay Central and local governments make a frantic attempt to promote festivals to create a lot of revenue. Some people think this money should be invested in social programmes for the poor. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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  • Central and local governments make a frantic attempt to promote festivals to create a lot of revenue. Some people think this money should be invested in social programmes for the poor. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer.