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Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. To what extent do you agree and disagree with this statement? Give reasons for you answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. Give reasons for you answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. Majp
Many people think that women are better at upbringing children than men therefore they should focus more on taking care of their children and have a little amount of time in working. I do not agree with this opinion because women are imposed to take care of their children only. Nowadays as the education of parenthood are given more importance in raising children. Parents should have the knowledge to nurture their children. Both men and women should have equal responsibility in taking care of their children, because some kids when they only have the love from their mother. The tendency of a child to think is that his father does not care of him and he has no time for him as well. There are many ways for parents to raise their children such as parent orientation from professionals and parents who have the experience in having children. Perhaps like in schools, when parents are called for a general meeting in terms of the grades, performance and attitude of the children behave, mothers are the one attending due to the busy schedule of their husband. When their husband has free time, he should spend time with the kids like playing with them during weekends, taking them to the mall and having dinner dates at home or in restaurants. Because the love from parents are what children needs when they are still young and as the children get older, they would reminisce the time spending the days with their parents. Also, in parent orientation from professionals because as what I’ve seen to my parents, they attended orientation about raising their children in my previous schools during elementary and high school days. From the orientation, parents were told that for children to grow on their foot the guidance, trust and love from their parents are what children will remember and nourish as they grow older. Because kids have different dreams and ambition and when parents stop their children from that dream and forced their kids to do what the parents want. Their kids will somehow be rebellious and they do not have respect their parents. In my personal knowledge, nurturing kids are hard for parents but with the seek of professionals they have the ability to guide and trust their children in the best way possible. Attending schools’ conferences is also a good way because parents can meet other parents. In that way parents can share their knowledge in raising their children also the equal responsibility of both parents.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that women are better at upbringing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
therefore
they should focus more on taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in working. I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
women
are imposed
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.

Nowadays as the education of parenthood are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more importance in raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should have the knowledge to nurture their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women should have equal responsibility in taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
from their mother. The tendency of a child to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
is that his father does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
him and
he has no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for him
as well
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to raise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
orientation
from professionals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who have the experience in having children.

Perhaps like in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are called
for a general meeting in terms of the grades, performance and attitude of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
behave, mothers are the one attending due to the busy schedule of their husband. When their husband has free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, he should spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
like playing with them during weekends, taking them to the mall and having dinner dates at home or in restaurants.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "need".
needs
when they are
still
young and as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older, they would reminisce the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spending the days with their parents.

Also
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
orientation
from professionals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
as what I’ve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, they attended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
orientation
about raising their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in my previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
during elementary and high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
days. From the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
orientation
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
that for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to grow on their foot the guidance, trust and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will remember and nourish as they grow older.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
dreams and ambition and when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from that dream and forced their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to do what the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
want. Their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
will somehow be
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
rebellious and
they do not have respect their parents.

In my personal knowledge, nurturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with the seek of professionals they have the ability to guide and trust their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the best way possible. Attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools’
conferences is
also
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. In that way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can share their knowledge in raising their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
also
the equal responsibility of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
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IELTS essay Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. Give reasons for you answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
417 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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