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With the passage of time people are less likely to make a visit at Museums. What are the Reasons for it? Explain this with the help of examples.

With the passage of time people are less likely to make a visit at Museums. What are the Reasons for it? Explain this with the help of examples. kYWBd
From the day one, history is the significant source of grooming and knowledge. Moreover, Museum is the major and physical picture of history which allows visual appearance of antiques. Whereas, with the flow of time people turnover towards museum is getting lower. whether, it has many reasons but on the top governments are responsible. Furthermore, people themselves are becoming mundane now a days. In addition, technology played a worst role in taking behind the interest of population to visit museums as people are badly addicted to smart phones. If universities enhance their focus in this regard, it will never be happened. For instance, when I was in my university, I have noticed that 90 percent of institutes were performing worse in fact, their museums were remained close for long just because of negligence. Additionally, in the schools now a day’s students are not being told by their teachers that how much it is important to visit museums. Whenever, students go to museum they could learn number of things about the history. Parents do not pay attention to their children to give them a learning environment if only parents start doing their job it would become quite better, it will definitely restore the old trend of visiting museums. For example, my neighbors usually go to museums with their whole family due to which they are knowledgeful. However, Government should increase the awareness among people as well as lack in the budget is the issue. Only degrees are not important for the human success physical presence of history is the major input. Educational institutes, parents and public it self are the main suspects.
From the day one,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is the significant source of grooming and knowledge.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
is the major and physical picture of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
visual appearance of antiques.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, with the flow of time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
turnover towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
is getting lower.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
whether
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the top
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are responsible.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
themselves are becoming mundane
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
.
In addition
, technology played
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
worst role in taking behind the interest of population to visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
badly
addicted to smart phones. If universities enhance their
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "focus".
focus in
this regard, it will never
be happened
.
For instance
, when I was in my university, I have noticed that 90 percent of institutes were performing worse in fact, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
were remained
close for long
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of negligence.

Additionally
, in the schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a day’s students are not being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
by their teachers that how much it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
.
“Whenever” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whenever
, students go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
they could learn number of things about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. Parents do not pay attention to their children to give them a learning environment if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
doing their job it would become quite better, it will definitely restore the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
trend of visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
.
For example
, my neighbors
usually
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
with their whole family due to which they are
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowledgeful
.

However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should increase the awareness among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as well
as lack in the budget is the issue.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
degrees are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the human success physical presence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is the major input. Educational institutes, parents and public
Did you mean "itself"?
it self
are the main suspects.
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IELTS essay With the passage of time people are less likely to make a visit at Museums. What are the Reasons for it? Explain this with the help of examples.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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