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With the increased global demand for oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extent do you agree?

With the increased global demand for oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. yrBr
It is argued that with the growing demand of some fossil fuels, actions should be taken to unlock new areas where such resources are expected to be available. I strongly disagree with this, because the extraction of these resources are harmful to nature, and such resources can be replaced with renewable ones. The first reason why extraction of fuels from undiscovered region should not be allowed, is that this act is harmful for nature. One of the possible consequences of using undiscovered areas to access such resources will be deforestation. Deforestation then will affect the balance of environment, since trees contribute to the environment by playing the role of improving air quality and climate amelioration. Trees are essential to reduce the heat intensity of greenhouse effect by maintaining low levels of carbon dioxide. A recent report reveals that after a massive deforestation of some areas in North Australia the temperature has increased and there was a huge climate change compared to previous years. The second reason why one can prevent exploring new areas for digging for such fuels because it is really unnecessary in the presence of other renewable sources. It is true that fuel is essential in our daily life but most countries now are trying to shift to clean resources. These renewable resources are more accessible and can easily found in nature. Renewable sources such as sun, wind, and water can play the same role as oil and gas, but they are less polluting and more environmentally friendly and moreover they are more economic. Reports has shown that the government of Canada has reduced the costs of fuel consumption when the government start depending more on water and wind energy sources, thus contributing well to the country economy. In conclusion, there is no need to explore new areas to access fuels because such actions may lead to harmful impact on the environment and it was proven that renewable sources are good substitutes for these fuels
It
is argued
that with the growing demand of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
, actions should
be taken
to unlock new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
where such resources are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to be available. I
strongly
disagree with this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the extraction of these resources are harmful to nature, and such resources can
be replaced
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
ones.

The
first
reason why extraction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
from undiscovered region should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
, is that this act is harmful for nature. One of the possible consequences of using undiscovered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to access such resources will be deforestation. Deforestation then will affect the balance of environment, since trees contribute to the environment by playing the role of improving air quality and climate amelioration. Trees are essential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the heat intensity of greenhouse effect by maintaining low levels of carbon dioxide. A recent report reveals that after a massive deforestation of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
in North Australia the temperature has increased and there was a huge climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
compared to previous years.

The second reason why one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
exploring new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
for digging for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
really
unnecessary in the presence of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
. It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
is essential in our daily life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
most countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
are trying to shift to clean resources. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
resources are more accessible and can
easily
This form is ambiguous and can be used as past tense. Confirm that you are using the intended base form of the main verb after 'to do' as an auxiliary verb..
found
in nature.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
such as sun, wind, and water can play the same role as oil and gas,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are less polluting and more
environmentally
friendly and
moreover
they are more economic.
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "report has".
Reports has
shown that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of Canada has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the costs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
consumption when the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
depending more on water and wind energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
,
thus
contributing well to the country economy.

In conclusion
, there is no need to explore new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to access
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
such actions may lead to harmful impact on the environment and it
was proven
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
substitutes for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
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IELTS essay With the increased global demand for oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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