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Some believe that advances in technology are increasing the gap between rich and poor while others think the opposite is happening. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some believe that advances in technology are increasing the gap between rich and poor while others think the opposite is happening. jGrw
People have different opinions about whether or not technology has widened the gap between the rich and poor. While some people believe it has, I believe that technology has given poor people the opportunity to get a better education. Some people believe that technology has further separated the rich from the poor due to the high cost of devices these days. Modern gadgets, including the iPhone and iPad, cost hundreds of dollars, and poor people just cannot afford to buy them. Rich people are the ones who benefit from the newest products and can continue amassing wealth. For example, Jeff Bezos’s entire house is made up of the newest technology, including a voice-activated oven and shower. A poor person could never afford or install this type of software at home. Even though technology could widen the gap between the upper class and lower class in some ways, I believe that it ultimately narrows it. All people, even low-income communities, now have access to free information online. At no cost, they can research all different subjects online, including science and history, and read electronic books. For example, thirty years ago, children in the underfunded city of Chicago used to score low marks on exams compared to rich children in nearby schools. Nowadays, with affordable technology and free educational websites, these vulnerable students do just as well on their year-end exams as well-off students. Although there is some evidence to suggest that technology widens the gap between the rich and poor, I believe that it has ultimately decreased it, especially in schools. With the help of the Internet, people of all backgrounds can get a similar education.
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People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions about
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has widened the gap between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
it has, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better education.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
further
separated the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
due to the high cost of devices these days. Modern gadgets, including the iPhone and iPad, cost hundreds of dollars, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
cannot afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are the ones who benefit from the newest products and can continue amassing wealth.
For example
, Jeff Bezos’s entire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
is made
up of the newest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, including a voice-activated oven and shower. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
person could never afford or install this type of software at home.

Even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
could widen the gap between the upper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and lower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it
ultimately
narrows it. All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, even low-income communities,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have access to free information online. At no cost, they can research all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
subjects online, including science and history, and read electronic books.
For example
, thirty years ago, children in the underfunded city of Chicago
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to score low marks on exams compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
children in nearby schools. Nowadays, with affordable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and free educational websites, these vulnerable students do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as well
on their year-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
exams
as well
-off students.

Although there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
evidence to suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
widens the gap between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it has
ultimately
decreased it,
especially
in schools. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the Internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of all backgrounds can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a similar education.
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IELTS essay Some believe that advances in technology are increasing the gap between rich and poor while others think the opposite is happening.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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