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You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed? 2dkk
The accessibility and the development in the health sector has led to increase in the life expectancy of people causing a surge in the older population and the need for their care. I believe that society can learn to accomodate the growing number of older population by building a long-term visions on pensions and elderly care. Most developed countries are dealing with the lack of human resources since their workforce has retired due to old age. This has caused countries to reach a state of panic. Although the increase in the number of older generation concerning, I think younger generations joining the workforce will help maintain their nation's economy. Similarly, technological advancement are being made every single day causing the automation of jobs, consequently eliminating the need of the larger number of human resources. For example, self-driving vehicles are already being tested leaving out the need for drivers in to be employed of the future. The elderly care can be managed through long-term government policies implementing pensions and elderly care. A number of countries have a case of mandatory pensions for all retired workers, which can be a solution for the income for most elderly people. Pensions are retirement funds that is generally cut from the monthly salary of an employee over the years and finally provided to them when they are retired. Conversely, some governments are also investing in subsidizing care home for the elderly with facilities such as doctor visits and proper meals, ensuring proper care and treatment of their retired population. In conclusion, although growing older population is a concern, fresh human resource paired with job automation will help in coping for societies whereas management of the elderly shoud be rest upon pension policies and care homes.
The accessibility and the development in the health sector has led to increase in the life expectancy of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
causing a surge in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
population and the need for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
. I believe that society can learn to
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodate
the growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
population by building a long-term
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "vision"?
visions
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pensions
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
care.

Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
are dealing with the lack of human resources since their workforce has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retired
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age. This has caused countries to reach a state of panic. Although the increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
generation concerning, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
younger generations joining the workforce will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
maintain their nation's economy.
Similarly
, technological advancement are
being made
every single day causing the automation of jobs,
consequently
eliminating the need of the larger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of human resources.
For example
, self-driving vehicles are already being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
leaving out the need for drivers in to
be employed
of the future.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
can
be managed
through long-term
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
policies implementing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pensions
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of countries have a case of mandatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pensions
for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retired
workers, which can be a solution for the income for most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pensions
are retirement funds
that is
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
from the monthly salary of an employee over the years and
finally
provided to them when they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retired
.
Conversely
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are
also
investing in subsidizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
home for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
with facilities such as doctor visits and proper meals, ensuring proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
and treatment of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retired
population.

In conclusion
, although growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
population is a concern, fresh human resource paired with job automation will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in coping for societies whereas management of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
Possible spelling mistake found.
shoud
be rest upon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pension
policies and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
homes.
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IELTS essay With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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