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Why do you think some people are attracted to dangerous sports or other dangerous activities?

Why do you think some people are attracted to dangerous sports or other dangerous activities? kYLlO
In the competitive world, different people have different hobbies and passion. Not all of them are safe for humans. Some people prefer to play safe games in order to avoid unexpected results. From my point of view, people are attracted to dangerous sports or activity in order to overcome their fears, to finish their jobs and to add fun and excitement in a life. The first exquisite point to be mentioned is that every person has certain fears, when one want to get rid of that fear; he/she would try to face that fear by doing dangerous tasks or actions. Indeed, everyone gets panicked and anxious during a risky and difficult situation; it is the only way to deal without fear. For instance, I had a water fear and scared of doing water activities, it was a kind of embracing when I avoided water activities with my friends just because of my fear. In order to get rid of it, I went under water for scuba diving with the instructor. Even though I was not fun at all, at least I overcame my fear and weakness. Hence, people do dangerous sport to overcome their weaknesses. Another reason that deserves some words is that people have to do the challenging tasks as it’s their job. Apparently, certain kind of job gives honor and satisfaction to a person, when he/she does something extra ordinary for other people. A job of a soldier who fight at the border, he is playing with his life every second, however, his family feels proud and prestige when an army man sacrifices his life while protecting other persons. Some army persons serve their duty by considering that it is their responsibility to maintain peace in to the country and put their life in a danger. Finally, dangerous activities add color in our ordinary and boring lives. By doing something unique, a person adds adventure in a life. Certainly, after doing certain tasks regularly one feels boring and energy less, hence, he/she wants to try something different, that he never did before. After completion of a new venture, a person gets a feeling of accomplishment, which boosts up his/her confidence. Therefore, the amusement parks have several breathtaking rides, which not everyone would prefer to do it, but a person with lots of courage and enthusiasm takes a chance and risks to get fame in to the friend’s group. Hence, to add excitement and fun in life, a dangerous activity is a good option. To wrap up, in order to fight against fear, to complete a duty and to add adventure in life, a person does difficult and risky activities or sports.
In the competitive world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
hobbies and passion. Not all of them are safe for humans.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to play safe games in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to avoid unexpected results. From my point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are attracted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
sports or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to overcome their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fears
, to finish their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
fun and excitement in a life.

The
first
exquisite point to
be mentioned
is that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fears
, when one want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
get
rid of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fear
; he/she would try to face that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fear
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
tasks or actions.
Indeed
, everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gets
panicked and anxious during a risky and difficult situation; it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to deal without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fear
.
For instance
, I had a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fear
and scared of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, it was a kind of embracing when I avoided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
with my friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fear
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
get
rid of it, I went under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
for scuba diving with the instructor.
Even though
I was not fun at all, at least I overcame my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fear
and weakness.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
sport to overcome their weaknesses.

Another reason that deserves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
words is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do the challenging tasks as it’s their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Apparently
, certain kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
gives honor and satisfaction to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
, when he/she does something
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra ordinary
for other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
of a soldier who fight at the border, he is playing with his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
every second,
however
, his family feels proud and prestige when an army
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
sacrifices his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
while protecting other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
army
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
serve their duty by considering that it is their responsibility to maintain peace in to the country and put their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
color in our ordinary and boring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
something unique, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
adventure in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Certainly
, after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
certain tasks
regularly
one feels boring and energy less,
hence
, he/she wants to try something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
, that he never did
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. After completion of a new venture, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gets
a feeling of accomplishment, which boosts up his/her confidence.
Therefore
, the amusement parks have several breathtaking rides, which not everyone would prefer to do it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
with lots of courage and enthusiasm takes a chance and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
get
fame in to the friend’s group.
Hence
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
excitement and fun in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
option.

To wrap up, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to fight against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fear
, to complete a duty and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
adventure in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
does difficult and risky
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
or sports.
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IELTS essay Why do you think some people are attracted to dangerous sports or other dangerous activities?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
443 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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