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Why are Cities Becoming Overcrowded

Why are Cities Becoming Overcrowded doDnd
Technology is being developed day by day which leads to new inventions. This is a fact that cities are becoming overcrowded with time because of several reasons. There are many reasons which encourage people to move from countryside areas to cities. Firstly, due to technical advancements cities are becoming more facilitator as city people most of the people in cities are literate and they know how to use machines. Moreover, the majority of people in villages depend on agriculture and have fewer facilities. Therefore, they start living in cities to get more facilities. Secondly, city life is more comfortable as both males and females could work and they have good employment opportunities which make their living standard high. Additionally, cities do not provide only good facilities but also enhances the horizons of knowledge as people learn how city life is and different from life in villages and towns. Most importantly, people are going towards cities because of good education facilities as everyone wants their children to get a better education to get a high salaried job. Besides this, if people live in cities then they can get decent job offers so that the cities are crowded with people. Despite having a good life in towns or villages, people prefer living in metropolitan cities where they can live with discipline and convenience. What is more, people could get a job either in business or in customer service as cities are richer in providing jobs in the business sector than in agriculture. Apart from this, life in cities provides proximity to villages and people could easily get their durable and non- durable things without wasting their time and money. To conclude, cities are getting more crowded because people are living there more comfortably and convenient.
Technology is
being developed
day by day which leads to new inventions. This is a fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are becoming overcrowded with time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of several reasons.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons which encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from countryside areas to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Firstly
, due to technical advancements
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are becoming more facilitator as city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
literate and
they know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
machines.
Moreover
, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
depend on agriculture and have fewer facilities.
Therefore
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more facilities.
Secondly
, city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is more comfortable as both males and females could
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
work and
they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
employment opportunities which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
standard high.
Additionally
,
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cities
do not provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
facilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
enhances the horizons of knowledge as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
learn how city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
and towns. Most
importantly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are going towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
education facilities as everyone wants their children to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better education to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a high salaried job.

Besides
this, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
then they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
decent job offers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are crowded
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Despite having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in towns or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in metropolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
where they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with discipline and convenience.
What is more
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job either in business or in customer service as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are richer in providing jobs in the business sector than in agriculture. Apart from this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
provides proximity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their durable and non- durable things without wasting their time and money.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are getting more crowded
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
there more
comfortably
and convenient.
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IELTS essay Why are Cities Becoming Overcrowded

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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