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While some countries encourage short school days, others encourage long school days. Do you think that having short school days has more advantages or more disadvantages?

While some countries encourage short school days, others encourage long school days. Do you think that having short school days has more advantages or more disadvantages? qVarP
Throughout the globe, there are some countries that promote the idea of having short days at school, whereas other countries encourage spending longer school day. While there are benefits of extended school day, I believe spending shorter school day is more advantageous. To begin with, the first obvious benefit of short day school is that it is worthwhile for most students in various fields. This is because since students spend shorter time at classes. As a result, they find more time for other activities such as sports and hobbies. Moreover, as these schools invest in developing its students skills in activity such as sport games, this will lead to an outstanding outcome for students. For example, many schools in the United States had produced professional basketball players, who are now competing in the NBA championship. In brief, not only students gain educational benefit, but also gain personal benefits as well. By contrast, long day schools only emphasize on classes and studying. Hence, if these schools’ students spend their time merely studying, they have tenuous chances for any other activities. Unfortunately, the short school day is not always a positive one. This owing to the fact that students spend limited time in classes, and some of them might have difficulty in some subjects. With that in mind, these students might not have additional time with their teachers for further support. Consequently, these students might get low grades in the subjects that they do not well comprehend. Conversely, at boarding schools, if there are students suffering in some subjects, they can have private sessions with their teachers to address their weakness specifically. Thus, these students will obtain higher grades in all subjects eventually. In conclusion, although there are clear benefits for spending longer school day such as providing higher educational quality, it is my firm belief that spending shorter school day has more significant advantages as it helps students to enhance their talent as well at a variety of fields.
Throughout the globe, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries that promote the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of having short days at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, whereas other countries encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
day. While there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
day, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
shorter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
day is more advantageous.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
first
obvious
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benefit
of short day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is that it is worthwhile for most
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students
in various fields. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
spend shorter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at classes.
As a result
, they find more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for other activities such as sports and hobbies.
Moreover
, as these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
invest in developing its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in activity such as sport games, this will lead to an outstanding outcome for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in the United States had produced professional basketball players, who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
competing in the NBA championship.
In brief
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
gain educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
,
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but
also
gain personal
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benefits
as well
. By contrast, long day
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schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
emphasize on classes and studying.
Hence
, if these
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schools’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
merely
studying, they have tenuous chances for any other activities.

Unfortunately, the short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
day is not always a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
one. This owing to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
spend limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in classes, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them might have difficulty in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. With that in mind, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
might not have additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their teachers for
further
support.
Consequently
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
low grades in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that they do not well comprehend.
Conversely
, at boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, if there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
suffering in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, they can have private sessions with their teachers to address their weakness
specifically
.
Thus
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will obtain higher grades in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
eventually
.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
day such as providing higher educational quality, it is my firm belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
shorter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
day has more significant advantages as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to enhance their talent
as well
at a variety of fields.
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IELTS essay While some countries encourage short school days, others encourage long school days. Do you think that having short school days has more advantages or more disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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