Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

When I was sixteen years old, I listened the story of a girl that went to study abroad.

When I was sixteen years old, I listened the story of a girl that went to study abroad. oR1pg
When I was sixteen years old, I listened the story of a girl that went to study abroad. I was very fascinated by her story and from the vibrant tone of her voice while she was calling back to her mind so important memories. I believe that was the moment in which I decided that I wanted to study abroad too. Currently, I am planning to start a postgraduate course in a foreign country. Herein, I am going to explain more in details, by giving examples and explanations, why I think that studying abroad is great. I believe that there are both good sides and bad sides in studying in a nation different from your homecountry. These considerations cannot be differentiated the ones from the others, as I think that some positve aspects of studying abroad may be also appear as less interesting just considering them from a different spotlight. First of all, studying in an another country, is once-in a life- experience! It can be considered a challenging adventure from any point of view. Indeed, you have to find a suitable accomodation for youself, you have to fill in residence permits, you have to attend classes held in a different language, you have to deal with a new reality that may be far way from the one you are used to. Some of these things may be look fabolous, some others less cool. In any case, there are advantages and disadvantages. Some bureacratic procedures may be very long and stressful. The thing may cause you a little of anxiety. You definitely have to go out from your comfort zone. Secondly, it helps you to fit in different environments and situations, even to those with which you're not familiar with. In the beginning everything will seem even harder than it really is, just because it's new! To deal with the uncertain, to pass through administrative procedures, will make you stronger and clever like a fox. You will develop an important readiness in making decisions and in considering pros and cons of every situation. Thys type of experience may create some initial difficulties and some lonely feelings, but before you will realize it, this will boost your soft skills, you're problem solving attitude and your abilities to tackle new and exciting challenges. For example, I have already studied abroad during the last year of my master and I have to admit that I really enjoyed that experience. During my stay, I developed a " can do attitude" rather than a " complaint attitude" . I completely changed my mind and even my attitude towards life in general. To wrap up, such a pathway should be recommend to everyone as the strenghts coincide exactly with the weaks part of it. Its the whole process to make you a better person. What are you waiting for?
When I was sixteen years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, I listened the story of a girl that went to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
. I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fascinated by her story and from the vibrant tone of her voice while she was calling back to her mind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
memories. I believe that was the moment in which I decided that I wanted to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
too.
Currently
, I am planning to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a postgraduate course in a foreign country. Herein, I am going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
more in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, by giving examples and explanations, why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
is great.

I believe that there are both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sides and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
sides in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in a nation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
from your
Possible spelling mistake found.
homecountry
. These considerations cannot
be differentiated
the ones from the others, as I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
positve
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
may be
also
Consider using a past participle here: "appeared".
appear
as less interesting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
considering them from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
spotlight.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in
One of these determiners is redundant in this context. Choose only one: "a country" or "another country".
an another country
, is once-in a life- experience! It can
be considered
a challenging adventure from any point of view.
Indeed
, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
find a suitable
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodation
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
youself
, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
fill in residence permits, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
attend classes held in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
language, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with a new reality that may be
Please check whether an article is missing: "a far".
far
way from the one you are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of these things may be look
Possible spelling mistake found.
fabolous
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others less cool. In any case, there are advantages and disadvantages.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
Possible spelling mistake found.
bureacratic
procedures may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
long and stressful. The thing may cause you a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
of anxiety. You definitely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go out from your comfort zone.

Secondly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
you to fit in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
environments and situations, even to those with which you're not familiar with. In the beginning everything will seem even harder than it
really
is,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it's new! To deal with the uncertain, to pass through administrative procedures, will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you stronger and clever like a fox. You will develop an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
readiness in making decisions and in considering pros and cons of every situation.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thys
type of experience may create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
initial difficulties and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
lonely feelings,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
you will realize it, this will boost your soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
Did you mean "your"?
you're
problem solving attitude and your abilities to tackle new and exciting challenges.
For example
, I have already studied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
during the last year of my master and I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
admit that I
really
enjoyed that experience. During my stay, I developed a
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
; can do
Possible spelling mistake found.
attitude&quot
;
rather
than a
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
; complaint
Possible spelling mistake found.
attitude&quot
;
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
my mind and even my attitude towards life
in general
.

To wrap up, such a pathway should be
Consider using the past participle "recommended"?
recommend
to everyone as the
Possible spelling mistake found.
strenghts
coincide exactly with the
Possible spelling mistake found.
weaks
part of it.
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Its
the whole process to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you a better person. What are you waiting for?
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay When I was sixteen years old, I listened the story of a girl that went to study abroad.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
473 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • When I was sixteen years old, I listened the story of a girl that went to study abroad.